My ex-wife and I were both maniacs like that to each other on the last few months of a relationship, I used to sleep in her work time just to avoid being exposed to her... because we both worked on the house buy my parents were living with us, when she was at work time she was non-dangerous, but I had a really bad feeling of danger when she entered the room and as soon as she stepped in, I waked up instantly.
It had been for months before she left home and accepted to leave, she dint want to leave, I spent seven months asking her to leave daily, docents of times, eventually I got tired and in a fight, after finding out another infidelity I hit her on an arm and then ask her to leave, she calls my mother in and lie to my face and her's, and hide the infidelity, I just pull my phone out and show mom the photos that dickhead sent to me to mock me, mom said literally: fuck this shit I'm out, you two, either go to therapy or separate.
We dint, for months, I ended up hitting her two more times, each related to new infidelity and I begged her daily for her to leave home, go back to live with her mom or her own, I did not care, and she managed to hangle me, with her mom being unable to keep her and nobody able to help her, and it was pathetic how I even when she finally left, gave her money so she could eat for a while.
I stopped graduating from college, froze my life, dint had kids when I wanted to, dint move out of my parent's house because I needed to pay for her college career, and as soon as she graduated, she dumped me and left home finally.
And accused me and another of her infidelity of rape. Funny, in the video I got front that guy said otherwise. Tried to kill myself after months of feeling dirty and done with life, survived, went to therapy for months, psychiatry and psychologist, eventually got better, a lot, started going out with people and friends on doctor's orders, my first date was literally approved by the psychologist, eventually about a month after, she got pregnant on a new and still too recent relationship, both using birth control (The pill and condoms) we decided to carry on, live on and make our relationship work.
Feeling happy with my fiancée, it gets better. Surviving is the first step, the maniac spends too much time making you ready to stab him in self-defense, he almost manages to make you a maniac as well.
Yes, you sense it, even in your sleep. There’s a change in the energy is how I describe it.
Wow, that’s quite a story of survival. I’m so glad you shared it. You’ve overcome a lot. It makes you stronger though. Someone who was very helpful to me once said, “human relationships are complicated”. It’s a simple statement but spoke volumes to me at a time I needed to hear it.
Day by day and build it as you go.
True. Surviving is the first step.
Wise words, you have seen plenty in order to know this.
Thank you @jesustiano, so glad to hear your story.
To her i was a monster, to me she was a monster, we both were, that relationship should had ended the firts time she "fell inlove" with someone else. Glad that i shared it, i have actually never speak about it on hive or any social media... Feels better to air it out.
I'm so glad you did speak about it. It is absolutely necessary to air these things out in a way that is helpful to oneself. Holding anything is never a healthy choice, from my experience.
What you've shared has given me a much rounded picture of you and increased my respect for you. We all have a monster inside ourselves. Some are not aware of it. Some ignore it. Some feed it until it devours them.
I've chosen to starve my monster for many years now. It's shrank and it no longer has control over me. If a situation arises where it pops up, well there are consequences I impose on myself, should it not adhere to the rules I've set for it long ago.
Quite a while ago, someone shared this story with me. It resonated deeply. I think you might also enjoy it. Two Wolves
Thank you, took me two days to properly read it, but thank you :) Not because is long, is not, is because i was makign a post about those days, about the depression that came after, the severe dissapointment on myself i had, and how it drove me close to suicide. I never picture my self slapping a lover, or screaming at her, neither expected having nightmares of me killing her, and smiling while doing so in my dreams, it still give me the creeps until this very day, now on a healthy relation ship, and expecting a child, i see that i am feeding the right wolf now, and it sure helps to starve that beast into oblivion, is a choise to be made when you become a parent.
Each of us has a dark side and in order to not have it consume us, it must be looked at and yes, starved. There is no way that I've ever found to eliminate it. Perhaps that may differ for others, or perhaps I haven't grown enough. I have found that starving it does cause it to shrink, the more starved, the longer, the more it loses power over one.
You're welcome. I never mind how long anyone takes. You've grown quite a bit. I hope you see that.
I do, thank you for this opportunity to talk about it :)
You're welcome, I'm glad you were able to talk about it. It helps release it.
That vibe, that energy, that some one is out ot hurt you, is something once you experience it, you never forget it.
That's so true. It's a lesson I learned very young and I will never forget it.
this is terrible! I'm so glad that you're out of that toxicity!!! you really needed to rebuild yourself after all that! my goodness
I'm glad that you have also found love and I pray for you - that your lives would be blessed with one another and that you would protect each other's hearts and pour love over each other!!!
Blessings to you both!!!
Thank you, it was not toxic, it was NUCLEAR. Im sorry for my broken english, i just couldnt comunicate to the best of my skill :S
you communicated it perfectly!
i understood the horror of it all too well! and i'm just so thankful that you are free from it!!!!
very nice, i like it