After the Flames: Rekindling Life & Spirit

My Introduction

PREFACE

For the last three months I have been going back and forth between whether to share my experiences. You know it’s scary to open up and put our story out there. Plus, I also felt like it was crass to overshare and present a woe is me kind of façade. I had prayed about it and asked God if it was something I should consider.

What finally convinced me was a reconnection with a friend. She and I were texting back and forth, since we both live in different time zones these days, and I finally stopped self-editing about what I was going through. Since January 20, 2023, I’ve been riding the rollercoaster that is bereavement and playing hokey pokey with major depressive disorder.

Texting quickly turned into a long phone call. After spilling the tea, she paused, sighed, and said, “thank you for trusting me to tell me what was really going on.” Then she shared about the difficulties she and her husband have been facing. We cried together. We laughed together. We also prayed together. Before hanging up she said, “before talking with you I felt hopeless and alone.” My heart ached for her. At that moment I knew I had my answer.

INTRODUCTION

This year we celebrate 13 years of marriage and 17 years of knowing each other. We’ve been through a lot as a couple, including job losses, financial resets, public character assasination, and infertility. Through it all we leaned on our faith and each other. I thank God everyday for the opportunity to share my husband’s life.Aloha mai, my name is Jenny. I was born and raised on the island of Oʻahu in Hawaiʻi and am part Native Hawaiian. In my youth I did all the things; graduated from high school and college, got a 40-hour-a-week gig, traveled a bit and even raised a little hell. I married late – 17 months before my 40th birthday – to a wonderful man, @alohaed.

Nine months ago our lives changed forever. My husband and I experienced a devastating apartment fire where we lost half of our little family; my father and our two little dogs. With each passing day we both found it more and more difficult to stay in Hawaiʻi. The islands suddenly felt foreign and abrasive. I felt like I just couldn’t breathe.

Thanks to the immense outpouring of aloha and kindness from strangers, and people we knew, my husband and I made the decision to leave and move 4,800 miles across the globe to his hometown in North Carolina.

DAY TO DAY

Making a home in North Carolina has been pretty easy, for the most part. We live at a cross roads - literally - in a small rural area in Johnston County. I never realized just how urban Hawaiʻi is, compared to JoCo. I really enjoy living in the country and truly appreciate the slower, quieter pace of life.

Like most GenXers I enjoy time with friends, but also really, really dig it when I don’t have to leave the house or the property. Shout out to my fellow latchkey kids.

Together my husband and I experimented with planting a garden. We learned which area is best for growing certain produce, and even learned what we will never grow again.

*Pro Tip* read the carrott package before planting the seeds. The variety “Little Fingers”, really mean little fingers – like little baby fingers.

I’ve also been blessed by learning home canning with my husband’s Aunt, who lives on the property next to us. She’s taught me how to can pork, chicken, ground beef and even beef stew. It’s been so fun to get to know her and make memories.

My mother-in-law has also been so welcoming. She’s pretty amazing. She is one of those soft and kind, genuine, southern ladies. We’ve been enjoying talking about everything and anything. As well as marathon watching the Hallmark Channel. Years ago I used to scoff at the schmaltzyness of Hallmark movies, but holy crap I’ve really come to enjoy watching them. My MIL has also encouraged me to start my own subscription box business. More about that later.

As for a 9-to-5 gig, I work remotely for a nonprofit in Hawaiʻi called ChangeMakers Hawaiʻi. We focus on bridging the gap for other nonprofit organizations when it comes to workforce development, education, and funding. While it’s a bit stressful at times, I really enjoy it a lot. Building an organization from the ground up is magnificent and frightening, all at the same time.

Hobbies and work have helped me through the grieving process. I’m one of those types of people that will throw themselves into a project to numb all the feels. Honestly, finding a meaningful purpose post tragedy has been a huge undertaking. Some days just getting out of bed is a challenge. Thank God my husband and I have each other, and when it’s darkest, we lean heavily on our faith. We take it day by day and are learning to walk by faith, and not by sight.

PROMISE

This blog will bounce back and forth in time as I post more about our journey of rebuilding our lives. My promise to you – in this space you’ll discover our struggles, triumphs, and setbacks. We hope that our story can bring comfort and inspiration to those of you who are going through a difficult season in your life. Please feel free to reach out to us and share your stories. We would love to hear from you and connect.

God Bless. A hui hou (until we meet again).

Jenny