I agree with a lot of what you have said. I wonder if you are earnestly seeking answers to your questions because I think I may have some.

I was raised (and I am a woman, since some people ask) to believe I had a mind as good or better than a man's (not because I am female, but because I am fortunate that Nature gave me a good mind). I was taught that I should study and go to university and learn to support myself. No one ever said a man I was with ought to make the same or more than me. I assumed my partner would make less.

What happened? Well, first, I came to understand that not all men were like my father. Although he is not perfect, he believes in equality at least when it comes to the brain. I met many men who were intimidated or angry if I demonstrated more intelligence than they had. Frustrating. It's hard to prove that you are good at your job if you hide your intelligence. This is quite a conundrum for most women and we mostly just accept it and do not speak of it.

Also, you never know. You might be around a man who actually can handle female intelligence, but you must be brave enough to show intelligence first, which, trust me, is a risk.

Putting all that aside (and all that is a lot), in about 2009, I decided to date a man who was a janitor and a musician. I have two university degrees and was freelancing as a private tutor. I did not care that he barely had enough money to live other than from a sense of compassion. From my perspective, one person is as good as another. Money is not the measure of a person.

However, our relationship went very poorly. I frequently had to help my boyfriend to pay for rent or food, but he was not grateful. No. Even though I did not draw attention to my assistance, my education, income, etc. being above his destroyed us. It was not until a few years after that I realized this was the issue.

Even though it was the furthest thing from my intention, the mere fact that I earned more emasculated this man.

My current boyfriend (fiancé, actually) earns more than I do. He is less educated, but he is a secure man and he loves me the way I am. It is hard for women who are intelligent. I have met even VERY smart men who get insecure and seem to prefer women who are less intelligent. I feel very fortunate.

It makes me wonder what women who are REALLY intelligent do because I know I am above average, but not the smartest and I make a lot of errors.

So, my point, in this super long comment, is that I agree that men and women should be equal, which means paying equally also. However, life is very complicated for both men and women. Men still get a lot of their sense of self-worth from income, and most women do not. If a woman chooses a man who makes much less money as I did with my ex-boyfriend, generosity and acceptance are irrelevant. He may end up resenting her anyhow.

Then, there are men who sponge off women, and I have known a few, but that's another story. They don't mind if we make more.

This comment reminds me how lucky I am to have found my fiancé, a man who loves me the way that I am.

!PIZZA