Many parents struggle with how to teach their children how to develop self-control. They often tend to see this as a matter of overcoming the negative behavior, but the truth is that such a view is too simplistic....
Self-control can involve many different aspects and there are no simple steps involved in learning the discipline. Instead, it requires patience, consistency, and understanding on all sides. There are some very common mistakes that families make when trying to help their children practice self-control.
Many parents will set limits for their children, especially in areas relating to their own behaviors or impulses. These limits may not always be logical, but they should be set. Children learn through imitation and peer pressure, what types of behavior will result in positive consequences. If your children do not understand why you are disciplining them, they cannot learn.
Limiting self-control can set children up for even greater emotional problems down the road.
Setting limits for your children does not mean you are taking control by force. Rather, it is a method of control that gives children a clear path of action.
If they behave badly, they know that they will lose privileges or time-outs. If they obey your rules, they know they get to keep certain activities. They learn that if they misbehave they pay the price by missing out on things that excite them.
There are no easy solutions, but it is possible to learn to develop self-control. Parents can make their children realize that their behavior affects those around them. This realization creates a strong sense of responsibility that keeps children from behaving badly.
Learning self-control is not easy. The first step is to accept that your emotions and thoughts create your reality. We choose our beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors based on what we believe is true. Our beliefs about ourselves and others often become self-defeating. To change these, we need to first replace our negative self-talk with positive statements such as I am a valuable person, I am a good person, I am a hard worker, and so forth.
Another way to develop self-control is to develop a respect for one's surroundings. In today's competitive world, children must always put forth an extra effort to be the best. They need to value themselves and feel that they are being treated fairly and appropriately.
It is important to provide children in various stages of their lives with a sense of security. Children that are secure and comfortable in their environment tend to do better in school, tend to have healthy relationships, and achieve success in different areas of life. Children that are uncertain and not secure feel tense, anxious, and insecure, and therefore tend to perform poorly in school.
In order to develop self-control, teach your children how to say no. Many times we make the mistake of saying yes to things that we know that we shouldn't. We really need to be able to learn to say no.
Give your children a choice of things that they can do each day. Make them responsible for making their own decisions. They may want to watch television before school or after school. Allow them to make their own decision.
Learn how to set boundaries. Children that have self-control are also able to set boundaries within a family and among family members. If children don't learn how to set boundaries, they may engage in harmful behavior. Boundaries allow children to learn how to say no and to gain control over their own emotions.
Let your children learn how to say no to things that they know they shouldn't. This is a skill that they will use for the rest of their lives. For instance, if you say no to letting the children watch television, they will learn to say no to other things as well. They learn that saying no to others is a good thing. They will feel better about themselves when telling you what they want to do or not doing.
These are just a few things that you can do to help your child develop self-control in their life. Remember that it's never too early to teach these skills. The earlier you start, the better. As they get older, it becomes more difficult, but with some patience and work, children can learn self-control and be successful in their lives....
I hope you're engaged with children irl. You're great!
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you know in order to achieve a particular goal you need to be consistent, it is not really going to be easy but with practice and time we can achieve what we aim for. Teaching your children and allowing them to know what to go for, what to say at a particular time and meaning what they say, is very very good for them; it helps them to know when to set their boundaries, the things they should do and not do, learn how to say no or say yes to certain things and people. so when we inculcate self-discipline in children it's good and it will help them to go a long way in life. Help them to define the meaning of their lives and to be determined to focus on achieving their future purpose.I agree with you @erther. learning or inculcating self-control in us is something that takes time and you needs consistency and focus.