IS COURTSHIP EVIL?

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As humans, we shouldn't be contented with the usual especially where a relationship is concerned. Most of the times, we want to do things the way they are despite knowing deep down we can do things differently. We seem to pick the negative rather than the positive lessons in other people's relationships.

You can't be in love and not learn how to give. If you said you are in love and it has never moved you to give anything to the person you claimed you love then you don't seem to understand what love is all about. Love is never selfish. Love is never self-seeking too.

Most people are in a relationship for what they want to absorb because they see it as a way of recouping what they have expended in past failed relationships. This is a terrible way to think or a mentality to have before going into another relationship. I stressed the importance of healing first before going into another relationship and this is where it comes in handy. You hold on to past hurt while making another person pay for what he or she didn't cause even though they are the same gender.

It is wrong to dump your baggage on another person when you don't know what he or she had to deal with to get to where he or she is right now. Never punish another person for your past hurt. Each person should be responsible for the consequences of their actions.

Love and giving go hand in hand. The truth is, most people in a relationship lacked the culture of giving and it is not a crime because we all have different upbringing and our exposures are different too but at least if your partner is the giving type, learn to emulate that. There is nothing that cannot be learnt. It all depends on our willingness to learn and our priority.

Be observant and know what your partner lacks or needs. It doesn't have to be anything huge or expensive because it is always the thoughts that matter. The sacrifice behind it matters.

How are you making your partner better? How are you challenging your spouse? Don't make your partner be the only one taking huge risks while you operate from a place of comfort. Of course, there would always be one person doing more than the other but never be caught doing nothing.

Expectation sometimes hinders a lot of people in a relationship. Due to that, most people have actually had to change their partner. It's shocking because it goes both ways. As you have your expectations, your partner does too and still stuck around. You should live up to those expectations too as much as you want him or her to match up to yours.

There are times your spouse might not even know and they would be lagging, we sometimes provoke people to do the right thing by doing to them what we want them to do for us. Start by appreciating the little things because it will help your spouse to desire to please you more.

The great excitement or happiness that your spouse displays should really be so vital to you..... Giving is not restricted to material things even though you should do that once in a while too.

In a relationship, giving is important. We cannot overlook the role of going the extra length and the sacrifices that comes with it. It is not a crime if you don't want to be in a relationship. Your purpose or life is not defined by it and shouldn't be but when you decide to involve another person in your life's journey, you have to include them in your choices and your planning too.

You are not expected to do everything but try and do something - something thoughtful, something that requires you to leave your comfort zone. Push them to be better. Look at their blind side and guide them into the things they can't see. Make each other better and the important thing is to enjoy each other's company.

Nothing is too small to do for someone you claimed to love. Reach out. Love yourself because if you don't love yourself deeply you won't know how to love others.

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