Welcome everyone to the best news account run by an Iraqi on the Hive blockchain. Very specific category, we know. But we take wins wherever we can get them. We would like to start by showing our credentials, so here are quotes from our biggest supporters

This has got to be the greatest time wasting and most useless account on the blockchain

@acidyo

I don't know who you are, but I find you creepy . And after reading your latest post, I find it hilarious that you think anyone would see it as good content

@theycallmedan

And finally

Stay the hell away from me, you psycho! I find your posts stupid, useless, idiotic, brainless, and not even half decent in quality at all. Stay away from me

@ura-soul

Now to the news

_{Disclaimer: Due to shortage of staff we decided to just write the news and hope they are true.}

We have taken a tour around the world and decided to bring you the best, most exclusive, and most iconic news on the platform and outside, including news that is yet to happen.

But first, a word from our sponsors @trafalgar and @traf (Yes, they are two different people)

Why would we sponsor this ?

GU's Gods Have Now Been Chained

After several discussions, the GU management team has decided to put the Gods in chains. The players' community was outraged by the decision. Our reporter, Ameer Coincidence, approached one of the players for comment they said

Who are you? And what the hell are you talking about?

Clearly in a state of shock. When asked about what substance were they on that led them to make such a decision, the GU management team responded

It is Acid, yo.

People Express Concern as Jeff Bezos Says He Will Launch Rockets to "Conquer Uranus"

In the news today, Jeff Bezos has taken a break from creating working conditions that drive his employees to suicide and announced in a video that is still yet to exist that he will be launching his newest rocket "Brown Origin" straight into Uranus.

People in the crowd expressed concerns and deemed such action to be invasive and deadly, said one viewer in attendance

Could you imagine something so big going into Uranus, you would die after the first 10 inches.

However, the idea wasn't hated but everyone as some pornstars welcomed the challenge. Brazzers is said to be interested in sponsoring and filming the occasion. They also have 348 parodies in the making.

Twitter previous CEO, Hipster Rasputin, questions Web3

Image source

After answering a question posed by journalist and WAP enthusiast Cardi B regarding whether a cryptocurrency will replace the US Dollar. To which he answered, "Yes, Bitcoin will".

However, Hipster Rasputin expressed concern over Web3 due to it being "ultimately centralized". A serious concern as it was Web3 that censored information, deleted the U.S president's account, as well as deplatforming thousands of people for expressing their opinions. Something, unlike decentralized Facebook and Twitter, centralized Web3 is known to do.

Here Are Some Quick Headlines We Didn't Have Time For

Elon Musk Can't Find Web3 as Dogecoin Moons and Surpasses Bitcoin in Price

@leofinance Announces the Birth of His Son CubFinance

@beautifulwreck is Expecting a Lawsuit from us

@curangel is Facing the Possibility of Prison After Getting Caught Curing People Without a Medical Degree

@nathanmars Officially Changes his Name to JackMoon. It is Unclear Whether the Username will Change as Well

And finally

@Hiddenblade Breaks The World Record in Hide and Seek as She Remains Hidden since February 5, 2018.

The End

_{Disclaimer: This post is a fan-based parody: I wouldn't have put your name in this post if I didn't admire you one way or the other} :