The quiet difference between alone and lonely

Is feeling alone the same as being lonely?

I don’t think so.They are close, but they are not the same.

Feeling alone is about being by yourself. It is a moment. A situation. Sometimes it can even feel peaceful. You can be alone and still feel okay.

Loneliness is different. Loneliness is a feeling inside your chest. It is when you want connection, but you don’t feel it. And the strange thing is...you can feel lonely even when people are around you.

So, simply said...
Being alone is about where you are.
Being lonely is about how you feel.

You can be alone without being lonely.
And you can be lonely without being alone.

A few days ago, we had a small debate about this topic. And it stayed in my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Maybe because I understand it too well.

When I moved to Austria, I had to learn how to live in a new way. Before that, I was always surrounded by people. Family. Friends. Morning coffees. Visits without plans. If I needed company, it was there. I never had time to feel alone.

Then suddenly...there was no one.

Don’t get me wrong. I had my husband. But he was working 12 hours a day. Sometimes we didn’t see each other for days. No more morning coffees with friends. No family visits. No random talks. Nothing.

At first, it was okay. Even nice. I learned how to spend time alone. I had my husband, and my beautiful dog. Life felt calm.

And then… a few months ago, my best companion died.

My furry friend. My comfort. My little happiness.

When I was bored, she was there.
When I felt lonely, she was there.
Ready for a walk. Ready for a cuddle. Ready to make me smile.

And now… she is not.

Now the house feels too quiet. Too still. Especially when my husband is working and I’m home alone. I have work. I have hobbies. I have things to do. But some days, I just sit there and realize...I am alone here.

Yes, I have coworkers. But they are part of my work life, not my free time.

With time, you also learn who your real friends are. Moving away shows you that clearly. For some people, driving one hour was “too hard.” And honestly, those people were not worth my energy anymore. Why should I always be the one visiting?

Some friends stayed. And I love them deeply. But they have their own lives. We don’t see each other every week. Sometimes not even every month. Yes, we text. We call. But I am the kind of person who loves to sit outside and drink coffee with someone.

And here… there is no morning coffee.
Not only because there is no one to go with...but also because it’s freaking expensive 😉

When you are a social person, it can be hard when there is no one to see. And no, I don’t complain to my friends. This is not their fault. This is my feeling. My burden. Something I need to learn how to live with.

I thought I already did.

But then Baou died.
And suddenly, life felt very lonely.

No morning walks. No little paws. No barking when my husband came home from night shifts. She was my guard. She woke me up so we could all cuddle together.

Now there is just silence.

So… am I alone?
Or am I lonely?

Honestly, I don’t know.

Because this feeling doesn’t live in me all the time. It comes in moments. Small moments. When I want to go for coffee with a friend. When I miss walking with my dog. When the house feels too quiet.

But I always find my way back up. And I always have my husband. My warrior. My best friend. My safe place. I know how lucky I am...many people don’t have that.

Today is one of those days. My husband is working. I wanted a good coffee.

So I went. Alone.

I sat outside, drank my coffee, and wrote this article.

Maybe this is what learning to live looks like.
Being alone...but still choosing not to give up.

So tell me...do you understand the difference?

And have you ever moved to a new city and had to learn how to live alone?

With love, @tinabrezpike ❤️