I love stories. I have spent an insane portion of my life reading books, watching movies and tv shows and writing my own stories.
When I look back at my life, stories have consumed my attention and I have, for better or worse, found meaning and purpose in them.
The stories I consumed by watching or reading gave me things to hold on to, things to analyze and think about, and things to cherish. It, however, did not give me happiness.
That came when I wrote my own stories.
After having written thousands of pages of material in my life, I still feel the need to consume other people’s work. A part of me is simply addicted to it, and binge watching is a craving that I am not able, or willing, to let go of yet.
The other part of me wants to feel that feeling that I had when I first watched Star Wars. The feeling that stirred within me as I watched Luke Skywalker looking to the horizon, the music of John Williams affecting something deep within me as it colored the whole experience.
The feeling of being blown away, as I watched Inception for the first time in the movie theatre. That feeling that made me come back the second time. The third. THE FOURTH!
The feeling of enlightenment, of being special, of seeing truth, of being a freedom fighter, the feeling that I got from The Matrix.
“I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules and controls, without borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you.”
The feeling of surprise as I watched Verbal Kint transform into Keyser Soze, the mystery of Memento and The Prestige, the intimate portrayal of totalitarian surveillance in Das Leben der Anderen, the exploration of fear and anger in Batman Begins, chaos and escalation in The Dark Knight, the complacency/decay of society in The Dark Knight Rises.
I am still hoping to feel those things again, to be blown away by someone’s imagination, be subtly persuaded and entranced by the music, pacing or cinematography.
Stories are magical and we are suckers for them. It is how we make sense of the world.
Stories can make you empathize with “monsters” and see things from a broader perspective. Better than any preacher or teacher, stories can convince you there is life after death, that there is meaning in existence and that you reap what you saw.
Stories have that power.
I want that power.
Consuming stories may not give me happiness, but it does give me meaning. Meaning provides me with belief and forward momentum. And when I believe, i have the courage to write.
When I write, when I am creating stories that flow from deep within me, I am letting my spirit fly and I am happy.
When I’m happy, I have the power.
