In January 2020, I began my blogging journey on a different blockchain platform. I am not referring to Hive since I only joined here almost a year ago. At that time, I was in eleventh grade and must admit that I did not take my studies seriously. I often procrastinated and gave priority to interacting with other people. I habitually only completed my modules when the submission deadline was near. Unfortunately, my willpower level had dropped, and I almost failed to secure my "With Honors" title.
Out of nowhere, I decided to read "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Reading it helped me manage my time better and get good grades, and it was also the topic where I often received the most votes. To make a long story short, I overcame my habit of procrastinating in studying and successfully grew my account. Despite achieving good academic results, as I look back, I often wish that I hadn't taken my senior high school year so seriously.
I remember being studious when I started my last year as a senior high school student. Not in a way that I always made an effort, like putting in calligraphy or answering questions honestly, but I constantly felt dedicated. My only setback then was that it would be my strength if I could get into my dream course and university. They said my dream course needed total dedication, so I'm trying to make it a habit. But even if we are free to use Google every time we answer our learning activity sheets, it doesn't make sense if you are lazy and not trying to learn.
In preparation for my college journey, I took three to four times until the only university I applied to accepted their needed requirements. The school I'm referring to is Central Luzon State University, and it was only three kilometers away from us. It was also the second university in our country known for its strict standards. And during those times, I always get stressed with my lazy groupmates. I can't count how many times I've ranted on my microblog account. I only endured those moments since I thought I wouldn't meet them after we finished that activity.
But then, at 4:30 PM almost a year ago, the official page of CLSU finally released the result. I took all the provided details and felt a bit discouraged. They said in the letter, "Thank You," which I thought good news, but in the end, it stated that I just needed to try my luck again. Of course, it took me many minutes to absorb that news. I thought my endeavor would be reaped off that year, but it didn't reflect my expectation. I am more confused about why those lazy groupmates I interacted with successfully entered while I couldn't even get to the waiting list.
It was the only university I was admitted to, and it was good that my parents weren't disappointed. Maybe they knew that I did my overall best, but that best was not enough. I remember that I wrote an article about it while falling into tears. Sometimes, I thought that if I continued being lazy, would I not get hurt? I can't help to think that my life is such a failure. What makes me more afraid is, "What if I won't get to studies again?" It almost creates my suicidal thoughts, but I still run my life.
Therefore, if I get the chance to get back to high school (particularly senior high school), I think about not being focused on my studies. I will enjoy my life what my cousin did. I will not seek academic validation or give a damn even if I didn't submit before the deadline, and I won't care if I only get average grades. Instead of doing them, I would write and write until I accumulated a lot of BCH. That's why when my mom gave me my grades and asked why I was unhappy (I got a 94 average), the simple answer was nonsense. I don't find any value in my efforts.
Until now, I'm still wondering why they didn't even give me hope about the waiting list. I didn't even touch that spot. I did well in my previous academic years, and why did some of my lazy classmates get passed? Life was so unfair. That's why I still have anger about their shit standards, and I only used them as a motivation for what I am today. I still find it a part of finding a new opportunity since I'm now happy because I finally found my zone. I'm happier, and I found my worth more. I'm grateful to my uncle since he was my current academic sponsor.
I am still studying hard to secure a scholarship from our municipality. I have applied for various scholarships as I want to value my dedication. My grades are performing well, and the only thing I need to do is to meet the scholarship requirement. I also plan to join a school organization to qualify for the PHINMA Scholarship. Despite meeting their required grades, my lack of participation in school organizations has hindered getting my qualifications. Being their scholar means free tuition and a monthly allowance of Php. 2,000. Therefore, I hope I can get it next year🤞.
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When I was still a student, I also have this tendency of comparing myself to others. Why were they able to make it and not me when I have studied more than them? Why were they praised when my score is higher than them? were some of the questions I had when I was young. In the end, I learned that nothing good will come from comparing myself to them - except if you make that a motivation to be greater than what you are now.
It's okay to rant and complain but if you keep doing it, you might not be able to appreciate good things that have happened in your life too.
You're doing your best, and that's important - but also appreciate yourself and others for their support to you. 😊
I hope you can get that scholarship next year!
And no worries if things won't go according to your plans.. God has better plans for you for sure.
Thank you te! Actually, contented naman na ako sa kung anong meron ako pero di pa rin ako makamove on na kahit waiting list man lang. hindi man lang nila ako pinasok haha. Buti na lang rin nangyari yon kasi baka walang wala akong time makasulat rito. Sana nga te makapasok para may pera ako, gipit gipit lang.
Yay! 🤗
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did you take accounting? good luck! If I can choose another course aside from engineering I will go for accounting.
Hindi eh. Buti na lang, sabi nung kaklase ko buti na lang raw di ako nag-accounting😂
Nung second sem nung first year kami, may accounting sub naman kami. Although ako lang yung medyo nakaka-catch up easily, sobrang hirap lalo na kung yon major mo. Feel ko kakayanin ko, buti na lang talaga di ko tinuloy. So if I were you, I suggest kung magtake ka ng course yung tingin mo may alam ka na para hindi ka masyadong mahirapan pero ikaw pa rin bahala. Nagbanking and finance ako nung first year but nung medyo nagreflect ako sa mga possible opportunities na alam kong makakaya ko, I shifted to Marketing. Wala naman magiging conflict kung magshift ako this school year since same lang kami ng mga subjects last year. Gusto ko sana ituloy yung major ko ngayon, pero maleleftout ako kasi feel ko ako lang mageenroll sa major na yon. Nabasa ko rin kung di ako nagkakamali about sa pagshift mo don sa civil engineering, pero parehas silang mahirap sa totoo lang.I suggest na ipursue mo talaga kung anong passion mo. Gusto ko talaga ipush yung accountancy kaso feel ko mas magagamit ko yung mapagaaralan ko sa marketing, especially may chance na magiging automated na work nila.
Nice insights. Shifting will cause a lot of convenience in my case.