Feeling the exhaustion again. Wasn't sure I wanted to write anything but it felt like a good way to wind down. It's 2AM now and I have been sleeping stupidly late recently, while waking up at various times throughout the mornings and afternoons. I feel the tiredness catching up, but the many things I have to do building up more and more. Can't stagnate. Can't sit around and do nothing or accept missing out on the development I'm pushing for. I still don't feel remotely close to burnout in that regard, just feeling the necessity of working hard. The excitement of doing so and really enjoying the process of creating. I was debating taking a day or two from Hive, maybe even longer at this point. I wrote a post the other day where I mentioned I realised that I'm on my tail end of being on Hive, that I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I don'y really enjoy writing all that much anymore, and that my crypto presence doesn't extend beyond Hive as I no longer have that interest that I once held. Sometimes I still enjoy throwing out the few bits of text here and there, but the more time passes, the more I feel I have less to say, and the less I want to share. My social media presence continues to dwindle, I don't scroll through reels. I don't really post anything anywhere anymore. It just doesn't really speak to me as something worthy of the time it takes.
I wrote a comment to a post a moment before starting this. The person was returning to their hometown which had a more natural setting, a place they once found boring but began to enjoy as they found themselves a little older and with a different mindset. I feel a great connection to that mentality, the realisation of a changed personality, the changing interests and the ways in which reflection can sway our perceptions of things. I feel the need for more nature. More peaceful environments void of the chaos of the modern world. I hear the sounds of cars backfiring constantly at night. Car horns from midnight to 3AM just because some overpaid athletes won a football match. Why must the rest of the city hear this noise? It speaks on how lost so many of us are, how unnatural the cities we develop really are. The competition for noise as music, motorbikes, and people spill into the streets at different times. It produces a great anxiety in me, my body tells me to get up and escape, to run to the hills where it's quiet; where the mountains seem endless and the trees tower over all else. The colour green dominating over the landscape. And that smell of clean air, no longer filled with car fuel or various fast food smells.
All of this insanity makes me think of where we're all heading as these locations continue to grow. As expansion of cities runs rampant. Mass development adding to the population. More homes, more cars, more people, more noise. It starts to add the question: are some governments actually justified in their overreaching? At this point I wouldn't mind if they did step in and start banning certain aspects of obnoxious behaviour: revving motorbike engines in certain districts at 3AM, excessive use of car horns. A few months ago I read that some nations actually started to punish as a result of using car horns too much. Beyond their intended use of a warning signal. I'm reminded of another post on here I read a few weeks back, where another poster mentioned how much they couldn't stand noisy environments, and began to actively avoid them. I feel it. And as a photographer these environments are encountered far too often, the walking down roads, entering various locations in which the atmosphere differs. It's some really stressful stuff. Perhaps I'm more destined to just run out into nature and photograph wild birds or trees in fog. The city photography starting to just lead to insanity. I guess we don't consider that side of photography: how much the photographer actually deals with just to get the shot.
I think that's about all I have in me for now. Off to Borjomi for a few days. A more natural setting I'm sure I won't want to leave.
I wonder who she is? 😄
While I write this comment, the neighbour across the street has a loudspeaker blaring with music that is really unpleasant by my musical standards. I find it hard to concentrate on my thoughts... I see you have a good plan in nature.
Just flow with what's good for you... I sense that writing is something you will not be able to avoid, give yourself the chance not to give up.
😉
Maybe, but I think it just might change into something else. I have interest in writing about my travel experiences, and sharing photography. But I know I'd like to expand upon it and do something more in that regard outside of Hive for sure.
I have now arrived in a small town and first stayed in an apartment in a large building. There are a lot of 9-story buildings nearby and a lot of noise from the street, dogs bark at night, I was a little nervous because I couldn’t fall asleep on time. I moved to another, smaller house and now I sleep very well. In the middle of the day it is also quiet here. Silence is very good.
I'm in Borjomi now and it's dead silent at night. A few barking dogs here and there, but no noise at all otherwise. Such peace!
Today I will buy myself Borjomi in glass. This is one of the best mineral waters.