A little bit disappointed but still thankful

Hello fellow hivers here!

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I want to share this experience that happened to me this past 2 months that makes my brain spin around. Just a little bit of background, I'm already a mother of 2 girls and I'm in my late twenties. Our life this year is actually a roller coaster including my mental and physical health.

I have been taking birth control pills since 2018 and it's almost 5 years now and I decided to take a break from taking it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but taking this kind of pill can sometimes trigger some illnesses, especially hereditary ones. I'm having some symptoms just like my aunt who was operated on because of an ovarian cyst, so last August I stopped taking pills.

Fast forward, it's already the 9th of September but my menstruation is still not here so I decided to take a PT but the result was negative. Maybe it's just the hormones are still adjusting so I waited till the end of the month. I am experiencing lots of cramps but no bleeding which happened with my first pregnancy so we both thought that I might be pregnant, we both know that there's a possibility.

We started getting prepared by preparing our minds for the new changes in our family and we are also looking for more side hustles because we are sure that having another kid will cost us more. Since we have 2 girls we are hoping for a boy and as we look at the Chinese gender calendar, it may be a boy.

I set an appointment for a check-up this Monday but I was surprised last Friday morning because the red days actually came. Yes, that's right it's my menstruation. I'm speechless, I told my partner about it and he said it was okay but I can see the sadness in his eyes. Later that day he talked to me and said "I'm actually expecting that you are pregnant, I'm mentally prepared and preparing for our expenses". Maybe it was God's way of saying to us that this was not the right time and He is still giving us more time to get prepared. I believe that God has perfect timing and soon when we are ready He will give us what He planned for us.

Thank you for dropping by!