I loved reading this. Everything you described was so typical! I've been to that airport countless times. It has modernized a lot over the years. I'm surprised you still had to hop on the shuttle bus. That is common but I thought they were building or had already finished the gate/s to disembark directly into the building. I wonder when the hotel they are building will be finished.
The system for customs inspection is also funny: just an RNG button that either flashes a red or green light.
I've heard many superstitious people claim that the button senses your nerves or sweat on your hand or intuitively knows that you are hiding something in some way. Hilarious.
The sitting and waiting until the mad scramble to the exits is over was also a strategy I remember my grandpa using when we would fly together.
P.S. Even the street cops are fully decked out in military-like vests, helmets, and automatic rifles.
I've noticed this and it can be intimidating at first but I guess they have a good reason. They seem to leave the people alone for the most part, there are a lot of checkpoints when I am riding around with my family but whatever they are looking for, it isn't us.
I don't need an airport to be super modern, I just want it to be streamlined and for things to work, and in that case GDL gets really high marks from me. I suppose the customs guy being a bit abrasive is kind of what they need to be like, we can't have them being all cordial to everyone. This guy was all business and that's fine. It's not like he was shaking me down or anything.