"Win a match in Apex Legends"

I entered in the Goals widget on my Twitch page.

"Man, this is gonna take a long time, or, it's never gonna happen," I remember thinking.

The goal was set but the action? It wasn't to happen for a few months. The very negative thought prevented me from even opening the game. Instead, I'd spend my days playing what I was at least decent at: Paladins.
There you respawned within 10 seconds.

One day, I was going through my Twitch page and happened to land on this goal, which was now long forgotten. "Man, this goal has been rotting here for a while. Let me at least play the game if not win," with this, I install the game. That's right, I had even uninstalled the game "knowing" I was never going to win.

ding
The game's installed.

Alright, here we go.

I queue up for the first match and before I know it, deciding where the team needs to land as the Jumpmaster. Without knowing even a single location's name. "Why does this game always make the most clueless the Jumpmaster?" I curse my luck. Not wanting to embarass myself, I hold that Ctrl button as if my life depended on it.

Boom, we were off in a few seconds. "Oh man."

I had decided I'd be playing as Bloodhound, because they have the AntiNoobGetsRekt as their Ability and AntiNoobLevelAwareness as their Ultimate; perfect.
Now the odds were about even.

I don't remember quite how it went because we didn't win. But it was warm up.
I do remember standing on top of loot and thinking about what to pick like how one does their grocery shopping; hmm this banana seems more ripe than this one...I'll take this I guess.
There were many moments where I should've died, enough to make 13 12-minute Near Death Miss Caught On Cam videos.

The next one goes pretty much the same, with all the trembling and the aim getting a seizure as the opponent did their ADAD dance in front of me. Like how they have rain dance, at this point, that had become my death dance.

But little did I know, that I'd be the one doing that dance to them the next match.
Alright maybe not me but the teammates that carried me.

The Moment Of Redemption

Queue match

Select AntiNoobCharacter

Embarrassingly show your 7 kills stat to your teammates donning a $20 skin with enough kills to their name to make them a national hero and confer the highest medal of honor by their government

Reconsider playing the game

Become Jumpmaster

Ctrl

And BOOM, the match that would be remembered for eons to come, begins!

I remember, in the initial stages of the match, I'd spam FindMeMyTargets ability a lot. Who am I kidding, I milked it until Allfather abandoned me. However, there was a magical moment where I killed the opponent that downed my teammate and I revived them. I also got a thanks in the in-game chat, which was a pleasant break from "u suck uninstall". No I'm kidding, they'd just leave the game while the relinquish bar wasn't even filled halfway.
So this would be our strat, I'd scope out the location with my ComeOutComeOutWhereverYouAre ability and my possibly ex-pro teammates would down them, with a bit of my assistance in the distracting department.

It seems their skills were slowly rubbing off on me as there was this one moment, all my talent couldn't hold anymore and I climaxed with an epic kill streak. The ring was closing, space getting lesser and lesser, teams were confined, pushing against each other. We came upon 2 teams fighting it out. Choices had to be made. The town wasn't enough for both of us, in this case, for both of them. I was gonna wipe out both of them. Or, wait, what's that? Another team!? Gunshots ablaze. You know what that means. Time to whip out the MarkEnemyBlobsAsRed. We were about to third party the third party.

queue Ultimate sound effects

I could see. I started to believe. I made use of the sounds, as I had heard in one of those How To Play Like Shroud videos. I maneuvered out of the enemy LoS, made my way around and to the back of the action and BAM. I see my first target running towards me, escaping the enemy by taking cover behind a wall where a full healthed, R-9000-pew-pew gun-holding player was standing. Me.
I unloaded. They were one shot thanks to the enemy. I wanted more. I slid across my first prey and there, in my sight, were the other two, exhausted. By this time my team was making moves too. They were at the front and cornered the 2 about-to-be-dead players, giving me the confidence boost to engage both of them. I finished them off quite quickly. The other team was taken care of by my teammates. Looks like one of the teams in this threesome was finished off by the time I had made my way behind them.

The rush I had felt on still being alive was something else. I couldn't believe it. Time to loot up.

I was so into killing off teams that I didn't even notice there were only 3 squads left.

We pushed on and climbed a huge wall and suddenly were enveloped in gunfire! Both directions. We were trapped. I fired some suppressive rounds on the right as my comrades engaged the ones on left, but was losing health faster than my adversary. I look around: a bunker! We head into it, and through to the other side, taking cover behind the walls of the entrance to this huge complex of buildings. It was time to heal up for all of us, one after the other, we poked ourselves with futuristic syringes. It felt like group therapy.

Healed up, I had a choice to make. Either let this match go the same way as the countless previous ones where I waited for the enemy to slide out of nowhere as if their butts were covered in baby oil, and blast me off with a gun that went BRRRR...or...

I got out of cover and sprinted towards the action. Caught a Pathfinder reviving their teammate beside the bunker, so I started blasting. Missed 90% of them. He was on to me now. Did my evasive maneuvers inside the bunker. A.D.A.D. But bam! I was downed! I hear gunshots from all directions, the bunker filled with smoke. [E] Self-revive I see on the screen. "What the, when'd I pick that?" I press E like my life depended on it but let it go just in time as the enemy entered and started camping me. I start spamming the enemy indicator so much, my teammates thought there were 5 other squads. I see my buddies entering the bunker!
Oh! What's gonna happen?!
They start shooting. I keep spamming.

For a moment everything was in slow motion.

"This is it, this is where we die."

BOOM.

YOU ARE THE CHAMPION.

They got him!

I had my first ever victory in Apex Legends.

_!