I like the positive good energy message and the gospel infused in your lyrics man. Much respect.
But the flow and rhythm needs more practice. Since you asked me to mentor you and give your advice and constructive criticism. When you try to sing rap, it doesn't fit the beat, because you sound not harmonized with the music, the singing aspect might be distracting you from staying on beat. You do have a rhythm and flow, but it is not matching properly on the beat, you are off the beat in many areas. It just takes more practice and time. Once you have the flow and rhythm perfect, you can thing work on adding singing to the rapping style. But the flow and rhythm is priority when you want to rap, and your lyrics don't always rhyme, which is fine, but you just have to know how to transition smoothly when performing the song, you sound a bit rushed. Overall this was a decent entry, you gave a good effort, I think next time, try choosing a more melodic type beat that has some musical aspects to it, and try slowing down your rap to get the basics down, the fundamentals of your flow.
But you are on the right path and you will make progress, you have a lot of potential and have some skill already, especially with adding deep lyrics that matter.