The Doctor Who stood me up sent ME an Invoice for Her No Show

I swear you can't make this shit up. I was not going to post about this experience because it really hurt me that a doctor who is supposed to care about people with ME, POTS etc stood me up. Then she then sent me an invoice for her mistake now I will discuss it.

Here is the whole story...

I have been in contact with a local chapter of an international charitable org/advocacy group for ME patients. They have sent me referral to a few doctors, none of which have panned out. This is not to say anything against this group. The local chapter is run my all volunteers who themselves have ME, LC, POTS etc. They are excellent and are trying their best to get me medical care. These are people who live in my state.

This is the same group that referred me to the POTS cardiologist who refused to treat me because I am "too complicated" Again this is not the fault of the organization at all. I admire their work and they are trying to help me. I have become friends with one of the women in that group and she is always looking out for me and trying her best.I am pointing this out to show that me looking for medical care is not only a full time job and very expensive (as I never get care but still need to pay for appointments) even when I seek out the few doctors who are specifically supposed to help patients like myself. I am very sick an no one- literally no one- will help me. My life does not matter and has never mattered to doctors.

No, patients like me can't just "find another doctor". I am too sick to keep looking and the doctors do not exist even for basic shit everyone else gets treated for (my recent tendonitis fiasco is a great example but that is another story)

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I got a referral for a female doctor who herself has POTS! She also can do online-only appointments (her office is 30-45 minutes away. Too far for me to travel). This sounded perfect and I was really excited about the possibility of finding a doctor who can treat me remotely and understands my condition , at least POTS from personal experience.

She also presents herself as a women's rights advocate and advocate for people like me who have multi-system untreated diseases and are neglected by the medical system

My husband and I check out her website On February 28 2024. This date is important to note as it is relevant to the story. We saw that though she was booked about 3 weeks out, there was an appointment available on March 1st 2024 at 12:30 pm . Great. So we scheduled the appointment and got a generic message reply saying essentially they were manually going to confirm the appointment for March 1st at 12:30 PM.

Later that night I got an appointment confirmation with the time changed form 12:30 to 1. No problem there. I did try to call and make sure it was all ok but her phone line went right to voicemail and her mailbox was full. This should have been a red/yellow flag but at this point it was well past office hours so I didn't think anything of it.

I decided to log in at 12:30 on the day of the appt in case there was a mix up with the time.

Keep in mind, doctor's appointments including the anticipation are very energy intensive for me. I have 30+ years of trauma and medical gaslighting so these things are very difficult for me to prepare for and go to. Normally, I crash even with virtual/online appointments but the crash is not nearly as bad as in-person because I am not forced to sit upright when my body can't handle it.

On March 1st I log in at about 12:30 knowing I may need to wait a half an hour. It's fine I was just playing around on the internet and distracting myself from the stress. 1 pm comes along and she is not there. Then 1:10 . I waited until 1:30 and gave up. During this time my husband tried calling 5 times and again went straight to voicemail and voicemail box was full. We also tried texting the number, no response.

I the contacted her using her system asking what happened and asking if there was a genuine emergency.

This was heartbreaking. I shouldn't have put so much faith in this appointment but I really thought this time would be different. I can't describe the feeling of hopelessness I felt after being stood up and having a crash from the exertion and again getting nothing. It is heartbreaking. I deal with this disappointment every time a doctor refuses to treat or dismisses me.

Once again I was completely abandoned by the very people who were supposed to help me.

Later that day my husband (an expert programmer in his field) and I figured out what the issue was.

My appointment was in fact confirmed ,however it was confirmed for February 16th 2024 12 days BEFORE I scheduled it. Apparently the doctor assumed we have a time machine and my appointment was scheduled/confirmed in the past. They did send me a e mail saying they are working on confirming my appointment I requested on March 1 12:30 pm so this was NOT a mistake on my part.

So I immediately messaged the doctor, gave a detailed bug report and explained exactly what happened. I did this all in the beginning of a crash/ I was hoping she would realize the mistake and maybe fit me in at the end of the day or something to make up for it. She does not take insurance and makes her own hours so this is the very least she could do. Especially since I was in a crash which she should understand. There are medical treatments/medications that can make crashes more bearable. It is the least shoe could have done. As a POTS patient herself she understand this and in fact writes about her own experiences as a dr not being believed/treated in the past.

Instead the reply I get from her, not her staff but her (I do not know if she has staff) basically saying (paraphrasing here)"sorry there is an opening on the 22nd".

This really pissed me off. This is not a real apology. A real apology involves the person taking full responsibility for the mistake and then taking immediate corrective action to make the issue better. She didn't even thank me for the bug report which she could have and SHOULD have forwarded to her tech team or whoever runs the software if this was a software glitch. These things do happen.

If I missed an appointment do to my mistake I would do anything to make up for it.

This caused a crash and I suffered for days again not even getting healthcare for my troubles.

Fast forward to two days ago. I get an invoice for being a no show for Feb 16 2024. I am the one who showed up, she didn't. Also I do not have a fucking time machine and could not have possibly made it to an appointment 12 days in the past of when I scheduled.

Now I am really pissed and kind of laughing at the incompetence and stupidity of it all.

She sent the invoice through a popular credit card processing company that my husband did consultation work for years back. Oh and the invoice didn't even get my first name correct (last name was correct and the first name rhymes with my first name).This means this was likely a manual invoice not one sent from her system as my name in her system is correct. A human actually sent this out. Though I suppose her system is so fucked that it could have been automated but not likely as my name is correct in her database. I just...can't

My husband is contacting the credit card processing company directly with evidence of a fraudulent invoice as 1. SHE is the one who didn't show(we also have evidence of her non apology acknowledging her mistake) 2) It is impossible for me to be a no show 12 days in the past of booking an appointment. Considering the lack of taking responsibility of her mistake/tech glitch there is not reason to believe she will handle this correctly. There is no reason for us to waste more time trying to contact her about this.

We have screen shots and all the "receipts" and are tempted to take this to social media if this is not resolved. It is possible that she may take this to small claims court if the invoice in unpaid and a part of me hopes she does because it is very obvious where the mistake came from and it is not us. Also who is she going to sue the person who she named on the invoice or me ?lol

I think we should send her a bill for not only my husband's and my lost time but for the crash after he no show. I mean if she values her time so much clearly she must value mine /sarcasm

If she does sue for the unpaid invoice this is exactly what we will do. Hopefully the card precessing company will take care of it. I have no reason to believe this was an "honest " mistake.

Anyway that's the story.

FFS I just want healthcare before I get so severe I cannot seek it out. I am there now- to be honest -but I am still fighting. I can't keep this up much longer though.

I need immediate treatments now before it's too late. I am rapidly declining in functionality. This is a medical emergency that no one cares about. I mean this literally. My (upright) BP and heart rate are dangerously high and no one will even treat that. Heart attacks and strokes run in my family and this is a real concern for me on top of all my other issues . There are treatments for these issues but no one will treat.

@freecompliments @thebighigg Please if you know of any doctors who can treat patients in Maryland I need help before it's too late.