Conversations With Myself — "This Thing Called "Shadow Work" (HiveBloPoMo Day 4)

Going a bit "off script" for today's HiveBloPoMo post.

Been thinking a fair bit about this Psychological and/or Personal Development thing often referred to as "Shadow Work."

Loosely speaking — and without having to write an entire dissertation — Shadow Work typically refers to dealing with the part of your psyche that you tend to hide or mask because you find it somewhat distasteful and unattractive, or you're outright in denial of its existence, and yet it is still something you find distasteful and unattractive in other people, but you secretly are likely to possess or engage in, yourself, as well.

One of the places I first became aware of my "Shadow Side" had to do with my tendency towards laziness.

Now, when I say "lazy" it's not about an unwillingness to work, it's about the fact that I am not naturally inclined to want to do a bunch of things. All other things being equal I'd just as well sit still and not do very much at all, including things that have to be done, simply as part of being alive. I've talked about this before.

The way in which it is a Shadow aspect — even though I am quite open about talking about my tendency towards slothliness — is that whenever somebody else is experiencing a lack of something; lack of finances; lack of success; lack of love or whatever is important to them... and it very clearly is that way because they don't feel inclined to work for it I tend to be a bit judgmental of that.

And yet, I'm exactly the same way! If I could make it through life and through my days without doing anything much and still be able to afford my bills you bet I would do that.

Of course the place where my "Shadow Manifestation" differs from this thing that I'm judgmental of... lies in the fact that I am openly accepting of the consequences of my choices. I know I'm not going to have much nor be financially wealthy as a result of my disinclination to be a busy bee and eternally hard worker. Conversely, the people I am feeling these judgmental thoughts towards just tend to sound more like they feel entitled to have the success without doing anything for it. And so you could make the argument that it's not really the same thing... but ultimately it is.

Mrs. Denmarkguy and I even joke around about the fact that "we work awfully hard at not having to do anything!" And there's something ironic in that.

Of course, I'm only sharing this as an example of how Shadows work. Shadows are often a very complex issue and many people have a great deal of trouble actually identifying their Shadow Aspects, and then doing their Shadow work.

In a general sort of sense Shadows tend to be things we find troubling or offensive in others, but we are usually unaware of or completely in denial of being attributes we have ourselves. Or maybe we're aware of them but we hide them so as to not let others see them.

People are often biased against exploring (or even looking for) their own Shadows because society has led us to believe that our Shadows are by definition very negative. Like we have these "dark aspects" laying inside us that we're going to do things like pull out a gun and shoot up a shopping mall, or be violent against everybody around us, or engage in sexually deviant behavior we find appalling, but that's not necessarily how Shadows work. In fact, it's rarely how Shadows work.

For example, if you've ever known somebody who seems to eternally be the victim in life situations, that's usually — at least in part — their Shadow at play; the aspect here actually being that we don't really want to be responsible for our own actions. So, rather than "owning" our bad decisions, we "blame the world" for bad outcomes.

Something we see a lot in daily life — especially in business — are people who tend to step on others in order to get ahead and then label that behavior as "assertiveness," rather than face the fact that they are actually being bullies. Even though they may actually hate bullies!

It likely comes from an unwillingness to recognize that we all have a part in the world and that we're doing is actually causing pain and suffering.

It's by no means "fun" or even necessarily rewarding to work through our Shadows... but we do then to come out as better versions of ourselves, once we do the appropriate processing.

Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation! I do my best to answer comments, even if it sometimes takes a few days!

Graphic by @traciyork

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(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly and uniquely for this platform — NOT posted anywhere else!)
Created at 2023-11-04 16:35 PDT
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