Propuesta para conversar

De esto se trata la propuesta que hoy te hacemos desde este conversatorio, queremos que aportes tus reflexiones en torno a esas experiencias de vida propias o ajenas donde una persona se ha dicho ¡Hasta aquí! Y decidió, a partir de ese momento, introducir cambios en su vida que la llevaron a alcanzar un mayor bienestar.

Es oportuno puntualizar que tus experiencias son algo personal e íntimo, por lo que no es necesario compartir tus procesos con detalles. Lo que si nos gustaría que compartieras es la visión general que da nombre a este conversatorio: “¡Ya, Hasta Aquí!”

Para publicar toma en cuenta lo siguiente:

• Publica en nuestra comunidad @holos-lotus y invitamos a hacerlo desde @ecency.
• La publicación debe tener mínimo 500 palabras en español y se sugiere la traducción al inglés.
Sé creativo con tu título
• Utiliza como primera etiqueta #hastaaqui para ubicar tu post con facilidad.
• Coloca el enlace de tu publicación en los comentarios de este post.
• Si es de tu gusto, invita a un hiver amig@ a participar y rebloguea esta publicación para que llegue a más personas.

Estamos haciendo comunidad, al leer, comentar y votar fortalecemos nuestras cuentas.

Publica desde ahora hasta el próximo martes 14 de marzo de 2023.

Gracias por participar

Have you ever said these words to yourself? They are words with a great meaning and that only you can pronounce because they arise from a state of consciousness unique to each person. On the other hand this expression encloses a process that as such contemplates a period of maturation that is intertwined with many emotions and feelings.

Let's discuss some of the steps that can be taken in this process:

1.- Exhaustion. When we say so far it is because something has happened in a situation that exceeds our capacity for patience, tolerance, acceptance, that something extra is the straw that breaks the camel's back, usually accompanied by a feeling of helplessness where you feel you have done everything you think you should and could do but you understand that the time has come to distance yourself.

2.- Need to set limits. The same feeling of helplessness, tiredness, the real sensation of physical and mental exhaustion, where you feel that your emotional stability is at stake, makes you start to question yourself at a certain moment: How long am I going to be in this situation, is this what I want to continue living, where do I want to be in three months, six months, a year, living in the same situation? Step by step your answers will lead you to the need to set limits in order not to continue being the victim or to carry the weight of guilt.

3.- Realize. You may be exhausted, you know that you have to set limits but you have not yet finished realizing that it is not in your hands to change that situation, that it exceeds your capabilities for the simple reason that it belongs to the other and in the other you can not command, or seek to make transformations, you can accompany you in processes if that person wants, otherwise it is to realize that it is yourself who you can transform, even if this means breaking.

The moment of decision. When the three previous points converge, the exhaustion, the setting of limits, and the realization, the decision arises and possibly this will be: "This is it! And I say possibly, because it can also happen that you do not feel ready to say it and that you need more time, but let's be clear that it is still a decision, because you are already aware that you are in a situation that does not produce well-being, that deteriorates your quality of life and that you are far from what we generally call happiness.

Let's move from the generic situations to the concrete state that they are produced within relationships and more specifically in those relationships where affectivity is a tissue of interrelation that moves us and in many ways defines us in who we are, I am talking about parents, children, partners, friends, co-workers or work bosses where coexistence is necessary, they are part of daily life and conflicts become part of that routine creating an internal discomfort that is increasing for those who live it.

Let's see an example to visualize today's topic more clearly. Recently I met a person who wanted to share her experience of codependency with me, I will call her Carola and her case is the case of many.

Codependency is a term that defines affective-obsessive dependency, to such an extent that the codependent person does not take into account his or her own needs and desires.
It is codependent because the real problem is not in him/her but in the other person who has a dependency, it can be to drugs, diseases or others. You can go deeper into her description by entering the following link.

Carola is the mother of a young 32-year-old woman who has had drug problems since the early age of fourteen. According to her, the journey has been long and painful, from detoxification centers to psychologists and psychiatrists, without making much progress. From the beginning, Carola felt guilty about the situation and did not realize it when she became a victim of constant verbal abuse from her daughter, in addition to the fact that she would disappear for weeks at a time, which led her to high levels of anguish and depression.

Eight years ago someone told her about CoDA (Codependents Anonymous), a worldwide organization that helps and supports codependents, and it was only a year ago that she opted for the "I've had enough! The straw that broke the camel's back was when she found herself struggling with her daughter to keep her from leaving the apartment and she pushed her and threatened to hit her. Closing the doors of her home to her daughter was not easy, not supporting her financially either, but she accepted that she had done everything in her power to change things and nothing worked, it was time for her daughter to sort out her life and for her to "redo hers".

As I always, it is not about judging, no one knows the leaks in someone else's house and to what extent a situation can be destructive. The important thing here is to know that there are alternatives, perhaps some may be less drastic than others, but the important thing is to find one that allows you to live in the most humanized way possible, to understand that your emotional balance is as important and valid as for anyone else, that we know that help is there and if we cannot do it alone we must look for it.

Thank you for being

@damarysvibra

Proposal for discussion

This is the proposal that we make today from this conversation, we want you to contribute your reflections on those life experiences of your own or others where a person has said "This is it! And decided, from that moment, to introduce changes in their life that led them to achieve greater well-being.

It is appropriate to point out that your experiences are something personal and intimate, so it is not necessary to share your processes in detail. What we would like you to share is the general vision that gives name to this conversation: "I've had enough!

To publish take into account the following:

• Post in our community @holos-lotus and we invite you to do it from @ecency.
• The publication must have a minimum of 500 words in Spanish and English translation is suggested.
• Be creative with your title.
• Use #hastaaqui as the first tag to easily locate your post.
• Place the link to your post in the comments of this post.
• If you like it, invite a hiver friend to participate and reblog this post so that it reaches more people.

We are making community, by reading, commenting and voting we strengthen our accounts.

Post from now until next Tuesday, March 14, 2023.

Thank you for your participation

@soyalex @quetetas_mcbo

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
Fuente de imágenes: cortesía de la Comunidad @holos-lotus

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