There is an old saying we all know: “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Even though we repeat it often, many of us still fall into the trap of judging people too quickly. Sometimes it is because of the way they walk, the way they dress, or even how tall or quiet they are. But real life keeps teaching us that outward appearance rarely tells the full story.
I was reminded of this during a conversation where someone mentioned how people treat her daughter differently because of her height. It took her daughter time and confidence to change how others saw her. That point touched me because I had a similar experience growing up. I wasn’t short, but I was extremely quiet. People often assumed I was younger, shy, or not capable of doing much. They spoke to me as if I lacked confidence. Things only changed when I started talking more and carrying myself with boldness. Once I began “acting the part,” people’s behaviour towards me shifted almost immediately. It showed me that sometimes, people only react to the energy you carry.
Another lesson came from real-life interactions. I have seen how showing genuine interest in people makes relationships warmer. When you ask someone how their day is going, or you remember something small they told you, their response changes. They treat you with more care, not because you demanded respect, but because you made them feel valued. Respect grows naturally when people feel seen.
I have also met people who were considered “high-ranking” or “very important.” Many around them treated them with fear or exaggerated respect. But I discovered something simple: when you approach such people calmly, like humans and not as titles, the conversation becomes more natural. I once spoke to a public official whom everyone else was afraid to approach. I greeted him casually and spoke to him at ease. He immediately relaxed, and our conversation opened doors for me that trying too hard to impress him would never have achieved. Of course, not every respected person enjoys casual talk, especially when you don’t know them well, but many appreciate genuine human interaction.
In my culture, there is also a saying that wearing expensive clothes does not automatically make someone important. It is true. A person can dress gorgeously and still be struggling, just as someone who dresses simply may be more successful than we imagine. That doesn’t mean we should dress poorly. In fact, “the way you dress is the way you will be addressed.” Appearance matters, but it is not the deepest measure of a person’s worth.
Judging by appearance alone can deceive us. We may believe something that is not true, or overlook people who carry great value simply because their “cover” is not shiny enough. Life becomes easier and relationships become richer when we take time to see people for who they are inside, not just what they look like on the outside.