I spent my whole life wanting approval from Dad and he was always encouraging. Only showed disappointment if I did something stupid/wrong. I just loved him to bits and it felt good when he was proud of me, which was just about for anything I did. The other day I got an awesome wave and my first thought was: 'cant wait to tell Dad' and then had the crushing realization yet again he was gone.

Intrinsic motivation is actually the key. Figure out how to encourage that I reckon.