When will it be my time?...

When we don't understand why we react, we react, and we repeat the same script, and that, without a doubt, causes us problems.

Perhaps the answer is here, in our own body, asking us to start with something simple: "Listen to ourselves a little more". That's when this arises: Who am I outside of the role I fulfilled to be loved?

If, you have gone blank, then many times we become so molded to what the other wants that we no longer know what we want. Some people will say “that's love” and I tell them, look, no, that's fear, and that's the price of starting to abandon ourselves. Maybe it's because of low self-esteem, we unfortunately choose from a vacuum, and not from our value, and what we choose from a vacuum, always ends up hurting.

Why does it hurt? Well, because, if you humble yourself to avoid war you will have humiliation and you will have war. This is what Sir said. Winston Churchill and I think he hides a great truth. Certain conflicts are inevitable, and pretending that by keeping quiet you will be able to get rid of them is a big mistake, which leaves you feeling humiliated and you will still have the conflict.

I don't want to say that you have to look for fighting where you don't need to, but when you are at that moment you know that you should raise your voice or simply not lower your head before the wrong thing, because at that moment it's up to you to accept that conflicts also teach and to face it, it's the best. Certainly, problems haunt us if we do not solve them, even if we move to another country.

Sometimes the day comes with a break that we didn't ask for, but we need. A pause to look at ourselves, to recognize in silence what we have been carrying to ask ourselves without guilt and without haste that we are leaving for "later", the truth remained "later" does not come we just have to decide, take the step, even if it is small, choose ourselves even if it is scary.

For this to happen we are going to have to take courageous steps. We are going to have to say goodbye to places, people and belongings. We are going to have to get used to the discomfort and learn to take steps with fear and have to keep going even if we want to stop.

It's one small step at a time, in the direction of what we want for our future and stop living with the mind in alert mode, that pod, it tires, it exhausts. It's not about “being strong”, it's about understanding what activates us and learning to lower the noise to decide better. We can all fail, but it is our duty to make amends or, at least, not repeat the mistake.

We have to grow up, we are on the eve of Thanksgiving and Christmas, it is a good time to know our own darkness. Let's not waste it. There are many things we can change. I'm retiring, at least, this week I'm going to include myself among the things I have to take care of 😃.

Janitze 🔆