Its definitely not abandonment to let a child learn on their own as you step back and watch in the background strategically. My wife was a helicopter with my youngest and it showed for the longest time. He finally was able to get out of the house and spread his wings. It still shows that she hovered over him in his living style. Such as he is a slob and doesn't pick up after himself.
Send him to the army? ;)
I think a lot of younger people these days are pretty much the same - not enough responsibility as kids. Never vacuumed or cleaned a toilet. Never had to do the dishes. This is often doubly so for many men. As an adult, I always kept my house and apartments very neat - because who knows when I would bring someone home from a bar!
I would love for him to join the military! It would do him some good in so many ways. However he is on his own and lives in his own apartment these days. So he can be a slob in his own pig pen.