I would file this post under the category "Thinking out loud". It isn't the case that every time we speak (write) we need to draw a conclusion. There is great merit in sharing ideas. This is a discussion, one you're having with yourself but sharing with us and inviting us to have a similar colloquy with ourselves.
I enjoyed reading this very much--feel no obligation to draw a conclusion. Just think. That is actually a rewarding exercise :)
That's true, well put. I certainly didn't want to suggest one way or the other is superior, I'll leave that for others to decide. I mentioned it to my Chinese in-laws regarding shame / guilt and they agreed at least with their own circles and experiences. Pretty interesting, even if it maybe isn't entirely objective!