Red numbers.(Eng/Esp)

I always say that the best sign of good health is being hungry. That's why every time I have a gastric crisis I panic and I think it will be worse than the previus one, or that I'm just going to die.

It sounds a bit dramatic but women are that way. So I can't fight much against the perverse plans that my feminine universe is building in my mind with each new symptom of the disease, but, when a few days pass and I get better, three things usually happen to me:

• I enjoy looking thinner.
• I make fun of my paranoias.
• I force myself to follow a strict diet for more than three months, and once finished, there will be many foods that will be classified as pure poison.

Always always, after each crisis I end up angry with everything I did wrong... even the intransigent and bad-tempered Galician that lives in me has to re-read the user manual for my body and my mind, and if she doesn't like it: that he return with his people to Tenerife.

Yes, I'm better, although I'm still not completely well. But it was enough to remind me again that I could die from digestive bleeding, or another long-term complication that I could only deal with with palliative treatments similar to a fight between a fencer with his foil, and the precise and deadly attack of a samurai with his katana.

We must be clear in this life, there is still no cure for cancer!

That's why here I am, still very upset with myself. This is real, I'm not an alcoholic but I have a problem with the foods I eat.

How many crises will a person have to face to raise awareness about the need to have a new lifestyle?Life itself is like being on a tightrope all the time, seeking balance, walking carefully, and moving quickly when you master the rope.

But therein lies the problem: mastering the rope! In that state of dominance, confidence appears, because you feel that you will never fall again.Having confidence is good, but not to the point of believing yourself infallible...and losing your conscience.

I like healthy food, but also sweets and some junk foods, how many of you don't say to yourself, today I'm going to treat myself! and they go in the most innocent way to eat a package of sorbets covered in greasy cream, some chocolate cookies, a coffee mixed with a lot of cocoa and cinnamon, and some ladies loaded with pastry butter?

Also can still eat the tasteless and horrible food of a hospital without major setbacks, in fact, I could even enjoy it.

I remember my mother watching me eat chocolate with sugar in a glass, while she scolded me and I laughed behind her back! I was not aware of the mistake until the first pain.

It's not easy to maintain your sanity while you watch your family enjoy everything you like, that doesn't help. Will we have to put up signs with some prohibitions on the corners of house?

1. You will not bring sweet cookies home, eat them in secret.
2. Do not store the chocolate peters in the refrigerator, or at least hide them among the spices.
3. Please stop inviting me to have a milk shake.
4. This week we don't eat pizza, only vegetables with meat, root vegetables, and some steamed cabbages that I love.
5. Don't buy smoked chicken, it's very tasty, but it's as poisonous as a rattlesnake.
6. Don't bring me more milk bread, bring me the hardest and oldest bread you can find in the warehouse.
7. Anyone who wants fried ripe plantains asks their grandmother!...🤨

Of course, I am the one who decides what to eat and how much to eat.They don't have my problem, they have the stomach of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, so I don't have to punish them or impose my rules on them, although a little empathy won't would be bad for me.

Maybe in reality the fault is not mine, but rather my grandmother's, she loved everything related to cooking, and she made some roast chickens in a casserole that revived the very Chinese cemetery of the ancient Ming dynasty... It was around one day, on my sixth birthday, she decided to give me a five-pound chicken for me alone, and I, whit the biggest ilussion, thought I could handle all that, but my little pigeon's crop was only enough for a thigh, and the wing of the plump chicken...😄

Here is one of my first childhood traumas with food...not being able to eat all the chicken.

Another of the main problems I faced with the blissful food was that while I was cooking, I was tasting everything excessively, and it became a bad habit to eat pieces of meat, a little beans, and a few slices of tomato and lettuce while giving the order of final point.

Eating stopped being a delight and became a rather obsessive checking session.

In conclusion, here I am again, once again, with the firm resolution that I will not fall again into the indiscipline of the bulla, the crazy irrationality of behaving like a child who does not know how to avoid candy.

_{This is the strangest motorcycle I have ever seen.}

The responsibility of my body It is mine alone, and I will be in charge of this ship as long as it is not dissociated or incapable of making my decisions.

There is no reason to deceive ourselves with the phrase: a single taste will not have any repercussions on my body, because addictions begin that way, therefore we must be honest with ourselves: and understand that there will be repercussions with just one first time. ...addictions work the same in all senses, be it alcohol, drugs or simply food. Therefore, the last step will be the reconciliation between what we like and how we want to live.

I am not going to allow myself to be diabolically seduced by my tastes, because it is really not necessary to eat until we burst, or to eat something that you know hurts you, for the simple fact that you like it...I am once again convinced that "I must eat to live and not live to eat.

We believe that because we are allergic to humid weather and it hasn't affected us for a long time, we are already cured... but another day, that same weather, if you don't take care of yourself, will once again unleash a storm of fluids that can drown you without regrets or major consequences.

At the end, you are only transcendental for yourself and for your family.

Hunger is still an indicator of health for me, but what cannot happen is that my health parameters are in the red due to indiscriminately eating what I know I should not eat.

Espanish Version

---

---

Always very grateful for your reading.

---

_{The text is entirely my own
All photos are my property
Translation done with Deep Translate, free versión}

---