The Struggle

This chili con carne is really good. It's not exactly my dish as I don't like spicy and hot dishes but without the hot chili pepper it can be heavenly good. It's on my plate, sitting down now and in a second I can enjoy it.

Just as I want to sit down, I feel a sharp pain in my lower back, so strong that I can hardly move. Even breathing is a struggle as every millimeter of move means a sharp pain. Thank God I put the plate down first as I would have dropped it on the floor for sure. It hurts like hell but I should eat now before the food gets cold. It would be a shame. Easier said than done, as if I let go of the table, my body weight shifts and the pain is back again. Nice! How can I eat if I can't let the table go? I need at least one hand free to eat. Any hand will do as I've been training myself to be able to eat with both hands in case something happens with my right hand.

I'm trying to let the table go, but no matter what combination of movement I try, the pain is killing me. I must support my upper body by holding the table with my hands in order to exist.

Maybe if I could stand up, maybe standing on my feet will be better. Ok, I lean on the table, trying to stand up. It hurts like hell but I must do it. After a few minutes of struggle and pain, I'm standing on my feet! Yay!!! Finally!

Ok, now I need to straighten my body out and try to find a position in which I can stand without holding onto the table. Ouch, this hurts but I must eat! I'm trying to hold the plate in my left hand and the fork in my right hand, while standing in a position that hurts less. Finally I can finish my meal, put down the plate and think about what's next.

This is not good, not good at all. I know this pain, it's not going to go away by itself. If I coul only take a painkiller to relax the muscle that is trapped... That would help with the pain and maybe I can move again. Wait, the painkillers are on my desk and there's a bottle of water here as well. Ah, what a relief. Ok, now I need to take two steps, maybe more as I can't walk like I used to. There's a chair here that can help me. Yes! It's working! After two minutes I am able to reach the pills and take one.

Now I'm thinking I should go to the coat hanger and get my walking stick as soon as possible, before this turns bad. Another struggle, more pain but I need to get my walking stick. Thinking through fist as now nothing is simple, every move hurts. One wrong move and I can end up on the floor and stay there till I can get help as getting up by myself is nearly impossible.

I'm holding the door while taking one step. Then there's the wall I can hold on to. Great! I made four steps already and im still standing! I'm half way there. Another four steps, maybe five and I can get my walking stick.

Source

I've finally managed to get to the hanger and get my walking stick but I need some rest before I can take another eight or ten steps to go back to my room. While I'm supporting my body weight by leaning towards the wall, I'm thinking thank God I upgraded my walking stick last year by adding a robber layer to the end so it won't slip on the floor.

So far so good, I'm really happy with what I could do so far. A tea would be good though, so I'm thinking of going to the kitchen, put on the kettle and make one. The kitchen is not too far but I still have to make a few steps, which means more pain but now with my walking stick in my hand I'm feeling confident. I just need to be careful, think over every step before even making it and I'll be fine.

I'm able to fill the kettle with water and put it on. I'm standing in front of it and holding the table with both my hands to be sure I don't fell. It hurts like hell but I must do it and finally it's done. I have my usual black tea with lemon. This will cheer me up a little bit.

Only now I'm realising I'm not going to be able to bring the tea in my room. Having the walking stick in one hand and holding the door, the table, the wall with the other so I don't fall .... I only have two hands. Ok, this plan fell through for the moment. No problem, I'm letting the tea on the kitchen table, wait a few minutes till it cools off a little bit, so I can take a few sips while still hot. A few moments of please as I like my tea hot.

While sipping the tea I'm thinking what I should do to ensure I'll be ok for the rest of the day as it's still early afternoon.

Holy shit! I was planning to go grocery shopping as the fridge is empty but that is out of the question now. Ok, think, think, what can you eat? - I'm asking myself. At this point I'm having a big smile on my face. There's bread in the freezer. That means around four small steps and more pain, but I have my bread for dinner. There's canned food in the storage room, for rainy days and this is an emergency.

I'm taking a canned meat out of the storage room, and I'm happy I'm wearing my cargo pants that has a lot of pockets, I can take out two actually, in case this gets worse. On my kitchen counter there's already bread, canned meat and tea. Which means I won't die of hunger.

I'm taking a few sips of tea and thinking of how could I bring the tea in my room. I need rest first as I'm tired. While testing I'm thinking of trying out a strategy. I'm holding my walking stick in my hand and trying to lift the tea mug to see if I can take a few steps.

If my plan goes wrong, I'm going to spill the tea all over the floor, which won't be a tragedy but breaking my nice mug and burning myself with hot tea would be a tragedy. No pressure, right?

While holding the walking stick in my right hand, the tea mug in my other hand, I'm clenching my teeth so I can endure the pain, while trying to make a few steps. Easy, easy. One foot in front of the other, right?

It took me like five minutes to reach the room, but I did it! I'm in my room with the tea I was longing for. Now I can sit down and rest a little bit. I'm looking at my watch and realize it's been an hour since this started.

It doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is that I was able to take care of myself without damaging myself and getting more hurt. I'm still in pain, it hurts a lot but I know I'll be ok. I'm happy.

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Sometimes it comes in handy to be prepared for difficult situations. It helps to have planned in advance and know what to do when disaster strikes.

Life is full of surprises, things can turn bad very quickly. Little things must be appreciated!