Happy birthday, Rob! Sounds like you had just the perfect evening planned: Family... a favourite meal, and ice cream!! hehe. Your kids are gorgeous! Wow, three boys - HANDFUL hahaha and I say that because I have two boys (11 and almost 13!) and I know how lively that can be 😂 In fact my youngest had his birthday yesterday so you are almost twinsies... albeit umpteen years apart... hehe. But Wow, I bet with a baby thrown in, life can get a bit crazy and sleep-deprived at times in your home hehe... this too shall pass!
I hope you had a lovely time celebrating you with your fam. I think you will find more people resonate with who you are and how you feel about being inside your skin than you might think. And sharing that vulnerability can be scary, but damn... you know what?? Sharing vulnerability drives connection with those who resonate and understand most! And it's all about perspective too. My sister will tell me... "... gee Sam, I can't do what you do. You're an extrovert!" And I will shake my head and say... um nope. At heart, I love small close-knit groups of people with engaging, warm conversation... or intellectual debate... but I don't enjoy big crowds, or being the centre of attention. I love sharing with people. But in bigger crowds or if I suddenly look up and see a bunch of people engaged with me simultaneously? I get too self-conscious... I tend to start feeling like I am disconnected from everything and everyone. I start to see myself as an observer of everything that is going on, outside of myself... like a fly on the wall to my own life. It's unsettling and disengaging. So, special times with special people are what fulfill me. And self-promotion? ...aargh - shoot me now 🤣 I love that others can do it! Wonderful, truly... but it's something I have never done well. My boss has told me that I do a great job, but that I need to toot my own horn a bit more to be noticed outside our immediate team! But I'm like... hmm, I'd rather let my actions and integrity speak for themselves. If people can't work out my value from that... then that is on them. I don't need the fast-track career plan lol... I am quite happy finding that nice balance between family and work and building relationships with those around me. I'm glad you have found a nice niche at work, that you are being valued this time around, and that in turn is building confidence in your abilities. Everyone deserves that.
Moving around a lot makes it much harder to build and retain close friendships. That must have been exceptionally difficult for you, especially as a kid. Are you still connected to anyone from those many different lifetimes ago or do you find that you are mostly connected to the people in your space now? I ask because I know how even a single long-distance move as an adult can turn one's world upside down. You no longer have people around you with a common history, with similar upbringings, people to reminisce with, people who get you completely because of shared experience. HARD! I get it. I found connection again as soon as I found a new common thread that I could build from... in my case, becoming a mom and having my kids start school. I made a couple of very close friends through my children. But the weird thing? The person who I connect with most in the world outside of my immediate family, and who feels closer to me than almost anyone I know, lives about 5,500 miles away, and I only met her 2.5 years ago. Different history, but similar values, so many connections, and the same heart! So... Life, huh!? Sometimes we just have to let go and trust that there is something bigger at work behind the scenes, ensuring that our lives are turning out just as they should be. And also that timing is everything! And in the end, we have to be prepared to dreem bigger than the usual dreams that occupy the landscape, position ourselves, and be patient. And now... after that way too long comment hehe, the Port beckons me so I must head off for a bit. I'm going to go and check in with some of the dreemers in our lovely community 🤗
PS: is that a river behind you in that bottom pic? Looks massive!!!
Yep, the baby is also MUCH younger than the older two, so it's been really interesting adjusting to having a little one around again.
Your description of being around people and promoting yourself sounds exactly like the kind of things I go through. I had even tried my hand at streaming/content creation. I had a lot of fun with it, but you REALLY need to be your own promoter to start out, and I always felt like I was forcing a feeling I didn't really have. I may give that a try again sometime, but I'm just not always my own best advocate.
There are only a couple of people I keep in touch with from when I was a kid. Even those people aren't very close friends, but we know we can reach out if we want to. The two main ones I think of have both moved out of state, so we wouldn't be able to set up an on-the-spot lunch date or anything. My wife and I met and started dating when we were in high school, so that's one old relation that I keep a better connection with :-). Some of the best friends I've made in the last few years were internet friends, so I get what you mean about finding people like that as well!
As for the second picture, there is a pretty big river there, yes. That was from a family trip to the Smoky Mountains in North Carolina. I had been there as a teen, and I had always told my wife I wanted to bring her there. We finally got there for a vacation as a whole family a few years ago. My sons look so little in that photo compared to now, it's crazy.
I appreciate the long comment. It's nice to have actual conversations in comments instead of some of the 3-5 word messages you see sometimes!
Oh goodness! A few wow mentions here... you met your wife at school? That's wonderful! So lovely when those relationships grow so beautifully together. My hubby and I met at a local English pub in South Africa. Been together 27 years. Time flies! And your kids are much bigger now? How old are they now? And is your baby still a baby? hahaha I've heard of the Smokey Mountains but never been to North Carolina. I had a colleague who moved over to N. Carolina many years ago. His dad is American, his mom British. So he had dual citizenship. He ended up marrying an American woman and moving back to London at some point but I remember seeing his pics on FB and it always looked idyllic out there. If I recall correctly, Dawson's Creek was filmed in North Carolina too! I love the mountains. They are my happy place 🤗 Maybe I'll visit the Smokies one day too. I'd love to hike in the Colorado Rockies and the BlueRidge Mountains too! I've spent time in the Drakensberg Mountains, the Lake District in England, and in the Sierra Nevadas... all gorgeous.
👆THIS 💯% - Because... well... it's not that easy to connect with people 3-5 words at a time, right?! 😅
Connection in the comments is something I tried to do from my start on Hive. About two months in, I stumbled upon a community collaboration on Hive that was promoting connection through comments, and I joined in... that was pretty much the start of my journey with Dreemport... I've met some lovely people through the community and never looked back. When you find your tribe, where you belong; an online community that feels like family - in the best sense of the word lols... it makes it a joy to log on each day.
Catch you soon, Rob!
Yes, the baby's picture is about a week old. He'll be 8 months old in about 2 weeks. The two older boys are now 17 (or will be this coming Friday) and the other turned 15 in December. And yes, we have a BIG gap between our first two sons and the new one.