I'm torn where to start. I really, really need to address two issues and I don't know where to start like a 3-wick candle. 1 is plenty, know what I mean? 2's more than enough, more than 2 they get lopsided and burn unevenly to where the glass gets burn marks. I can't remember what the second one was now.
So I got 3 weathered wood candles in a row, they're fuckin amazing. 1 wick is all it takes, less than 5 minutes you can smell the thing outside. Then I mixed it up; got a weathered wood and a sweet tea at the same time. When I got to the counter the little girl was "like oh my God like sweet tea is like the best eveerrr!" I still can't remember the second one.
I informed her weathered wood is the best candle out of all candles created in the history of candles. She disagreed. Even laughed it off. If I wasn't such a softhearted, kind, word sugar coating, uncharacteristically educational and motivating speaker I'd throw the fuckin thing at her register as hard as I could like 'gimme my money back!'
Now I remember. I keep meaning to remind myself this is public.
We were getting some good 3 wick candles from TJ Maxx for a while, don't remember what kind they were, just that they smelled fantastic, burned evenly, and cost more than a foreign baby.
Public? That can't be true, can it? Do I need to go through and edit my whole history?
If it was that easy they'd all do it and call it national curriculum.
That was funny, I almost prematurely coughed out weed smoke!