Life update: Between duty and motherhood expectations

Greetings to my fellow awesome @ladyofhive! It's me Iris and I would like to say long time no see since the last I wrote anything on Hive. Last month, my CEO from US came to visit us here in Indonesia and my schedule was so hectic. At the same time there were many important changes happened as well which left me so overwhelmed and burned out.

Last month my workload was so crazy. We were preparing for annual furniture fair in US and usually we would make new series to show. And my CEO would come to review before it shipped so my team had to do our best to prepare everything. I think I will share the detail of his visitation on another post, but the whole trip took about 10 days in which I couldn't go home. After that, we had to revise the product based on his review and prepared everything. I shipped my last sample yesterday, and even though I was be able to come home, I usually arrived very late.

During those busy week, my son also start to go to school. Last Monday was his first day of school and sadly I didn't have time to prepare him mentally. Actually he was already upset during my absence and suddenly he was thrown into new routine of waking up early and new set of rules. I was so sad and upset that I couldn't be there for him. The heavy regret that I couldn't help him adjust made me questioned my choice of being a working mom of course. But I also know that to afford his study and other expenses, I need to work.

Also since my workload was so much, even when I was home, I couldn't really accompany him. I couldn't do our usual routine and couldn't take him out to play. Also I was often become impatient because I had so much to do even though I knew he didn't mean to disturb me. And being a child of his age, this only made him eager to cause trouble just to get my attention. So surprising that only a month passed but we grew apart so much. It broke my heart but I really couldn't do anything to rewind the time.

So right now, I can only try to mend our relationship. Finally my work eased out so I can regulate my emotions better. I couldn't believe that actually it was so hard to be patient when our brain was in turmoil. And because my husband stayed in different city, sometimes I felt so alone and overwhelmed. However, I also realized that I had to take care my own emotional problems first to be a better mother for my son.

Perhaps, there are some mother out there who also experienced my situation. I wish that my post can be a source of strength for them that we were in this together and eventually everything will be better. All we need just hanging there and let the time do its wonder. Just believe that these noments will be missed as well.

Thank you for reading my heartfelt coming back post. Stay strong, ladies!