Handfasting Over Marriage (LOH 219)

Modern day weddings, are a huge affair. They have turned into are a multi million euro industry. With people paying thousands to have the perfect day. Unfortunately, the emphasis seems to be more on the afters, rather than the actual ceremony itself. Moving away from what really matters, the union of two people, that are committed to spend their lives in partnership.

It's a shame really, to see it turn into a competitive business. With couples wanting to out do one another by finding a better venue, putting on a better reception.

When I was little girl, I played at one day getting married, but as I got older, I realised that marriage, in the traditional sense, was not something I wanted. I am all for celebrating love and celebrating the commitment you wish to make to one another, I just have no interest in modern day marriage.

Hand Fasting, is the tradition that I am more interested in. A Celtic ceremony, where two people's hands are tied together, a symbol of their commitment to one another, using a ribbon or piece of material that is sacred to them both. A binding of two into one. An exchange of vows, by each of them and the community that promises to support their union. The ceremony can be tailored, to the needs of the couple.

I have performed three Hand fasting ceremonies, for friends of mine. The first one, was written by the couple and I performed the ceremony that they created. The other two, I created. In both of them, I wanted to involve members of their family and their friends. Asking the couple to choose a person to represent one of the elements. Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit, so that they could bring the blessings of each element into their union. When they had choose a person to represent each one, I contacted them to see if they wanted to write their blessings or if they needed any assistance in doing so.

I also made sure that we light some candles for those who could not be present. Especially those that are no longer with us on this earthly plane.

Traditionally a Hand Fasting, signifies the couples desire to be together long time. But initially it is meant to last a year and a day, after which the couple come together again and make a longer commitment to one another, if they still wish to.

Afterwards, the celebration continued. Not in an expensive venue, but within the community. either at the couples home, or in a community space, where the community provided the food and the entertainment. With very little money involved in the celebration itself. I certainly did not want to be paid, I was honoured to be asked to perform these ceremonies, which bring in the elements of nature and the blessings of the community. The things that really matter to me. That really matter to the people within my community.

This is my response to the following question from the wonderful Ladies Of Hive Community........

Marriage is a universal tradition, yet its celebration reflects the unique values, customs, and traditions of each culture. What are the most significant traditions, customs, and practices that define wedding ceremonies in your culture? How do they embody your community's heritage and beliefs?