If I were less self conscious, I would consider now to be the time I'm at my best. There's no point looking backward, and we are all beautiful beings. But I'm a woman, and it seems our lot to be unhappy with how we look. I'm not sure if I'm getting more comfortable with my appearance as I age, because I get more invisible and more secure in my inner person versus outward show, or less so because I'm getting visibly middle aged.
At least now I can say I am - you can pretend you are younger online and use filters and other techniques to mask your true age. Ladies, I dare you to say you don't do this - I know you do!
For this post, I'm not going to search my archives for the skinniest me, the youngest me, the most made up me. I'm going to share two pictures of me last week.
Now we KNOW photos lie. I like them because I 'don't look too bad' in them - I didn't scream at Jamie to delete them. I'm happy. I'm in the nature that I love. Granted, ones taken at far enough a distance you can't see my wrinkles. But still. It captures something of my energy. And energy is beauty, right, not physicality? Right?
I've also just climbed a big bloody hill. And I did it. This body did it. This body surfs and gardens and cycles and climbs hills. Slowly, and dammit if I don't ache for days afterwards because I'm not getting younger, but I do it. What is me "at my best' than me, NOW?
The second photo I'm wearing glasses to disguise myself a little, and I'm not hiding in diffused sunlight, so I'm probably looking more my actual age - worse, in my opinion, than semi hidden with glasses! I even don't like this one so much, but still, I'm at my best, here, now.
Yesterday we were helping my parents do gardening - heavy work, as Jamie was chopping down trees and we were dragging the branches to a pile for the tip and I was lifting logs for the back of the van. Dad said 'jeez, look at you - lucky you kept surfing, look how strong you are!'. Of course I was beaming to get a compliment off my old man, because I'm always Daddy's girl, but he was right. When I did a lot of yoga I was flexible but not so strong. When I was younger my exercise was more sporadic. Now I'm older I am doing exercise a lot as preventative medicine - short jogs for cardio, squats for my back, and so on. I'm terrified of losing my fitness as I get older.
I am not fishing here at all. I'm working through my self acceptance. It's a life long journey.
Damn though, if I was ten years younger, I'd be back in bikinis. And if I was twenty five years younger, I'd be freaking gorgeous - this is me in 2000.
What a shame we don't know it at the time.
❤️🌳🌱💚
Ladies of Hive this week asks us to reflect on the Beautiful Women that we are and to show your pictures where you think you have been at your best. This is not only about clothing but also about what you are doing in your life. You have been engaged in some activity and you may have felt the best in that point of time. Share 3 pictures and if it is a group picture, please do highlight, which one is you.
Yep. That's me. Show me YOU.
Oh, and being as close to death as I am, being 51, I think about it alot. Here's a poem I wrote last week on the topic. When you are undersoil, nothing matters.
Feed my bones to trees
Let me mingle with mycellium
& soiree with bugs
So when I am gone
I will not be alone
With Love,
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Here's to strong and healthy bodies which, to me, are beautiful bodies. !HUG
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Aw, bless!
It is a beautiful, and ironic, reflection of ourselves, when our skin veneer shows some wear and tear, but is more homely than any time before.
I always compliment my kids about how beautiful they are regardless of how awkward they may feel about themselves.
When my son complains about his lack of strength, "due to his noodle arms", I tell him, "Appreciate them. They will change before you know it, you will become a man, gain your strength, and become a new version of You."
Your son is lucky to have a mum like you. Isn't it crazy how even kids compare themselves to some ideal.
Though aging could alter your appearance and beauty. Yet if you're able to maintain your natural beauty it still holds. I think you still look as your early age due to controlling your good time and maybe taken consciousness of your diet. To some people as they keep aging they would love to replenish their physical appearance by using certain make-ups, at long round it shows. Thanks for your time and loving how you are!
What a kind comment. Thankyou. 💚💚💚
My pleasure 😂
If I looked as good as you at 51, I'd be happy. I think I might have been at my best in my 40's before I got so sick. But I definitely looked best before I had my son. Sigh...
YOu are still beautiful xxx
You still look amazing in your 50's. Being in nature and the outdoors makes us feel young. :D
Hahah well you haven't seen my wrinkles!
Still beautiful. I wrote about my aunties the other day and I still see them as the young ones. <3
You are fit and beautiful and with your positive attitude I believe you are at your peak every damned day. Grab that bull by the horns and swing him around a few times....you will feel invincible LOL.
Being a terribly self concious person I immediately dismissed your cue to respond with a post and pics of my own, but the more I think about it I believe it would actually be a freeing exercise. I will perhaps work up the courage lol
YES! That's exactly why I wrote mine. I initially thought - well, no LOH for me this week, I'm not writing on that shit! But then thought it'd be good for me to do it and work through stuff AGAIN, haha! Let me know if you write on it.
I love this so much <3 This is exactly the sort of post I'd hoped to see when I read this week's theme. You can tell you're happy and content in those pictures, and I think that's all that matters to make a person radiant.
When did you start surfing? Just curious! :) I tried twice, but it went disastrously. I do do a lot of yoga, though :)
<3 As death has been on my mind a fair bit recently, I can't begin to tell you how this warms the heart.
Oh, thanks so much! I shared the poem on Facebook too and was suprised at how many people loved it!
I started surfing at 14, though I had a long break, and have been stand up paddle board surfing for ten years. Now i'm back on the longboard it's a learning curve again, but I just love being in the water. You have to practice a lot which can be hard when it's crowded or work gets in the way!
So it's a lifelong passion! That's awesome. I'm a big water lover myself!
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This is a beautiful post. It's great to find self acceptance and happiness