When I was little once a relative told me that it was a pity that my father had only two daughters, the hope of my family in the second pregnancy of my mother is that I was the boy and "continued" passing the name to the future, "two girls" he said, the weaker sex, hearing this last my hatred rumbled How the weaker sex, yes women are delicate and complain about everything, he replied, I small and still not quite understand the situation I preferred to walk away and not say anything more. But in my mind I said to myself, are we really the weaker sex, why does someone always have to be better or worse, at that time I asked myself many questions that with time I was answering. As I grew up I was facing new challenges, I left my parents' house at a very young age to study at the University (in another state of my country, Venezuela). I came from being a teenager spoiled by her parents, to live the life of a "student" adapting at first was not easy, besides that my father retired and the salary was not enough for everything, so I decided to start working to pay the university and buy my food and my things, I worked in a pet store from 6 to 12 from there I ran to classes, little by little I was adapting to that routine and I began to like it because I felt productive.
De pequeña una vez un familiar me dijo que era una lastima que mi papá tuvo solo dos hijas , la esperanza de mi familia en el segundo embarazo de mi mamá es que yo fuese el varón y "continuase" pasando el apellido al futuro, "dos niñas" dijo, el sexo débil, al escuchar esto último mi odio retumbo ¿Cómo que el sexo débil?, sí las mujeres son delicadas y se quejan por todo, respondió, yo pequeña y sin aún entender bien la situación preferí alejarme y no decir más nada. Pero en mi mente me decía a mi misma ¿realmente somos el sexo débil? ¿Por qué siempre alguien tiene que ser mejor o peor?, en ese momento me hacia muchas preguntas que con el tiempo me fui respondiendo. Al crecer me fui enfrentando a nuevos retos, me fui de casa de mis padres a muy temprana edad para estudiar en la Universidad (en otro estado de mi paìs,Venezuela). Venia de ser una adolescente mimada por sus padres, a vivir la vida del "estudiante" adaptarme al principio no fue fácil, a parte de eso a mi padre lo jubilaron y el sueldo no alcanzaba para todo, así que decidí empezar a trabajar para poder pagar la uní y comprar mi comida y mis cosas, trabajaba en una tienda de mascotas de 6 a 12 de allí salía corriendo a clases, poco a poco me fui adaptando a esa rutina y me empezó a gustar porque me sentía productiva.
After a while, when I was about to graduate I found out that I was pregnant, the first thing I thought was: "God, I can't have a child right now, I am only 21 years old, I can barely pay for my studies, I am not going to lie to you, as hard as it is to say it, for a moment I thought about not continuing and interrupting, but inside I knew that I could not do it, I would regret it for the rest of my life, I erased those crazy ideas from my head and continued with my pregnancy, having the baby was the most beautiful thing that has happened to me in the world, But at the same time I was in pain because I had a cesarean section, I could not dilate until the 41st week because I wanted my natural childbirth, but in the end I had to have the operation, besides the pain I felt from the wound my nipples hurt and I screamed every time I had to breastfeed, not to mention the hormones that had them to a thousand, I felt very sensitive I cried for anything, I realized the ravages that pregnancy did in my body, my abdomen was full of stretch marks my skin had stretched a lot, I felt ugly.
Al tiempo ya a punto de graduarme me entero que estoy embarazada, lo primero que pensé fue por dios yo no puedo tener un hijo ahorita tengo apenas 21 años apenas puedo pagar mis estudios, no voy a mentirles por más difícil que es decirlo por un momento pensé en no continuar e interrumpir, pero dentro de mi sabia que no podría hacerlo que me arrepentiría por el resto de mi vida, borre esas ideas locas de mi cabeza y continúe con mi embarazo, al tener a la nene fue lo más bello que me ha pasado en el mundo, pero el mismo tiempo me sentía adolorida porque me hicieron cesárea no pude dilatar esperamos hasta la semana 41 porque yo deseaba mi parto natural, pero al final me tuvieron que hacer la operación, a parte del dolor que sentía por la herida me dolían los pezones y gritaba cada vez que me tocaba amamantar, sin contar con las hormonas que las tenía a mil, me sentía muy sensible lloraba por cualquier cosa, me di cuenta de los estragos que hizo el embarazo en mi cuerpo, tenía el abdomen lleno de estrías mi piel se había estirado mucho, me sentía fea.
Seeing my daughter grow up has made me realize how valuable my body is, I gave life to another person, my body gave birth to a beautiful girl that will accompany me forever, how beautiful is that isn't it, I ask for forgiveness every day and I love myself more every day, the marks will always be the trace of something important, so take care woman no matter what, with all your flaws and imperfections you are great!
Photographer: Javier Sulbaràn
Ver a mi hija crecer me ha dado cuenta de lo valioso que es mi cuerpo, di vida a otra persona mi cuerpo gesto a una niña preciosa que me acompañará para siempre, que bonito es eso ¿no?, me pido perdón a diario y me amo cada día más, las marcas siempre serán el rastro de algo importante, así que ¡quiérete mujer no importa así con todos tus defectos e imperfecciones eres grande!
Fotógrafo: Javier Sulbaràn
What a beautiful piece of writing, sister! Blessings to you! 💜
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Aww thank you very much am glad you liked :)
When it really counts, its not just strength but also the strength of the will.
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