Who has never had any problem in their romantic relationships? There will always be issues but what do married people mostly do? If you want to save your marriage and/or amorous connection (for those who are still unmarried) then here's what you can do.

_{Side note: For those who are already planning on getting divorced/separated but still wanna try to save your marriage for the last time, I have 2 other posts for you to read first:
Divorce is Still a Terrible Band-aid Solution (1 of 2) | How to Avoid Divorce or Marital Separation? (2 of 2)}

Now that we got that related issue out of the way, let me break down this post's topic in two parts: Before and After marriage. Read whichever one fits you. If you're not married yet then read below. But if you already have a spouse, read the after marriage part.

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Dealing with Being in a Relationship Before Marriage

Don't just focus on sex and all those romantic things you see in the movies or sexual positions in porn and such. That's not what's going to save your relationship nor will it make you truly happy. We don't live in a fantasy world where we don't need to make any effort to be successful.

I've read countless complaints online about couples and their relationship issues. It's all the same. Some are living in together and already have kids, others are still starting out or have been together for a year but already have cheating and/or financial issues, etc. So what should people do?

Here are the things couples should do:

• Talk about your strengths and weaknesses and how you deal with problems. Like what makes your partner angry, sad, annoyed and such. Find out why as well. Share about your own too. If you can't stand talking to each other then why are you in a relationship?
• Talk about money matters. How do you plan on living and spending as a couple first and then eventually as a family?
• Discuss and compromise on your personal issues with each other.

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• Communicate and have a relationship with the family members of your partner to get to know what kind of family you're getting into and to get insight on how your gf/bf was raised.
• Interact with their friends and relatives if possible to see what kind of people they hang out with so you'll know more about your significant other's personality.

• There are still many things to look into but the most IMPORTANT of all is to bring God into your relationship. If you don't have God in your life then DO NOT expect a successful long lasting relationship and eventual marriage.

• Go to frequent confession after a general confession. Do not forget to do an examination of conscience before going to confession. Plenty of online guides for that. Before you and your partner even start planning for a wedding you must be doing this regular practice already.
  

  
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• Always pray everyday (rosary, angelus, 3 o'clock prayer, etc.), not only for yourself and partner but also for your families and other people in the world.

• Never miss Sunday mass and Holy Days of Obligation. Go together with your family and/or with your partner.

• Attend the seminars provided by the church before marriage and take notes and remember them. Those are being done for a reason but most people just disregard them and then end up hurt, angry then cry over it, eventually getting divorced or separated.

• Watch inspiring Christian movies like For Greater Glory, Father Stu, Jesus Revolution, Heaven is for Real or A Week Away. Also watch documentaries on the Catholic faith or the lives of saints like Ignatius of Loyola on Prime. Meanwhile on Netflix there's Mysteries of the Faith, Paul the Apostle of Christ, etc. Plenty more on YouTube or watch on EWTN OnDemand. For example they have a series on the Doctors of the Church. ❤️

• Make time to visit Jesus in the Adoration chapel too. Demons don't like people who frequently go in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
  

  
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What to Do With Problems After Marriage

Congratulations! You've tied the knot! Now what? Any changes?

I've read countless complaints online about married couples and their life. It's always the same old story. Pain and suffering everyday.

Either the spouse has an affair or a mistress or there are issues with money and business, etc. No more time for each other, spouse gets drunk a lot, never have time for kids or family, don't have enough money, there's physical assault every now and then, bla bla bla. Wife doesn't want to make love, husband doesn't help with house work, spouse doesn't do what they are expected to do, etc., etc.

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Oh did you find out your spouse had a kid out of wedlock or had a fling with your friend? Suddenly you're cheating on your loving husband/wife of how many years, why? Wait, your kids are suddenly addicted to porn and having sex as a minor! 😱

Or did you just get slapped and punched because your spouse was drunk or angry? Suddenly your kid says their stepdad/mom sexually violated them. Oh my goodness what do you do now? Do you just go for divorce or separate from them immediately? Heck but you love your spouse and can't live without them, what do you do??? Cry cry cry, get angry then complain and post online.

Some husbands (or relatives) even threaten to harm family members to keep wives and kids quiet, how does one save oneself from such? Or sometimes the wife or husband develops a drinking or gambling problem, squandering the family money and putting them all in deep debt. Then what? Thoughts of suicide next instead of asking for help huh?

If you're tired with such life issues then this is how you can finally work on improving it.

How do we resolve the many issues in married and family life?

• Pray to God everyday (angelus, 3 o'clock prayer, rosary, etc.) and bring the Lord into your relationship and eventual family. A family that prays together, stays together. You can laugh and scoff now but look at your married life or even your parents' terrible marriage and tell me how it is without God in your lives.
  

  
  ^{A public testimony posted on social media. | source}
  

• Pray for other people and not just yourself and family. We all have friends, neighbors and relatives. Aside from that there are plenty of strangers out there, even online. You never know who will do bad things to you and your kids so always pray for the conversion of sinners. You can offer mass for such an intention too!

• Change your life and return to God's flock. You still think you don't need Him when you and your family obviously do? Keep denying Him and you'll continue having marital and family issues.

• Do an examination of conscience and confess your sins, you first then your spouse next if they can. Do a general confession first if you haven't confessed in a long time and then do frequent confession afterwards. Weekly, bi-monthly or monthly, whichever you feel like doing. Don't have confession in your Christian denomination? Then pray to God, keep praying everyday and reading the Bible daily. You can pray the rosary even if you're not a Catholic too.

• Look at the lives of saints and learn from them, like St. Monica and St. Rita of Cascia or those saints who are the patrons of the married and/or abused. You are not the first one to experience marital problems. Learn from the saints who've overcome such issues!

• Watch inspiring Christian movies like For Greater Glory, Father Stu, Jesus Revolution, Heaven is for Real or A Week Away. Also watch documentaries on the Catholic faith or the lives of saints like Ignatius of Loyola on Prime. Meanwhile on Netflix there's one about Mysteries of the Faith, Paul the Apostle of Christ, etc. Plenty more on YouTube or watch on EWTN OnDemand. For example they have a series on the Doctors of the Church. ❤️

^{St. Josemaria Escriva is the founder of Opus Dei, a worldwide Christian organization. | source}

• Always go to Sunday mass and Holy Days of Obligation without fail (unless very sick, or you got into an accident and got hospitalized, etc.). Before going as a family, make sure to read and contemplate on the daily Gospel readings to prepare yourselves. Don't be late too because the Confiteor (I confess) is an important part of mass we should not miss! When you get to church, you can pray a bit and thank God for everything before mass starts.
• Visit Jesus in the Adoration Chapel, everyday if possible. Stay at least 30 minutes, praying, praising, thanking and telling God your concerns in life.

Last but not least, here's St. Teresa of Calcutta talking about love and family:

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So what do you think, can you do any of those I mentioned above? Well if you'd like to have a better marriage and relationship don't delay. Try and see it for yourself.

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Have you already done any of what I mentioned? How was the experience? What do you think will happen if you did all of the above? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.


XOXO,
@artgirl