Bit of a long read this one, but it is a subject I have a lot of experience with, and somehow ended up writing quite an honest autobiographical post... which did finally end up answering your questions.
But I hope it might have answered a few more questions about the nature of addiction, the most often seen source of addicts' sickness/choices, and how these things can come about. All a bit deep, weighty and real tbh 😉
Anyway, hope you enjoy the oversharing, and if you reach the end of this 2700 monster hats off to you.