ecoTrain QOTW #15: Why do we fall in love with certain people and why it is so hard to get over someone?

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Love is a universal force that can't be quantified or measured by any metric and hence it works against any sense of rationality and most times, the way it happens or affects people proves that it's still somehow inexplicable to the human mind. Now there's no one that has felt what it means to love and doesn't come out with questions that seems unanswerable. It's imperative to understand that love is two sided phenomenon which of course comprises of two sides. While one side can be beautiful and magical, the other side can be full of regret, hate, vengeful, pain and of course it can dark and enigmatic And most times when a person has only felt the magical aspect of love they don't get to understand the many mysteries that comes with love.

So one of the reasons why we fall in love with certain people is because love is inexplicable it's a human phenomenon that we can't place a sizeable amount of understanding to and because we can't fully fathom it to an extent it makes us have questions that may forever become unanswerable. For example sometimes we feel strong passion for someone and have been fighting or making efforts to get the people in question to feel what we feel, it gets to an extent when we try too hard and it makes the people in particular question the reasons why we really love them in the first place to nearly give up everything for them.

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Yet when we ask ourselves these questions most times when it's pure love we can't come up with a logical reason or explanation. In essence, love doesn't happen on our own terms, we don't control how we feel it, rather it controls how we feel it, to whom we feel it and to what extent we feel it, you must know that love is also borderless, it doesn't chose race, status, health condition or even looks and so we're not limited when it comes to choices that love makes for us. Believe me, love controls our narrative, it drives in us a sense of unconditionality, compassion and it takes away the forces of limitations, it expands beyond horizons and this sometimes makes it unfair and it's because of this unfairness it becomes incurably painful.

Love doesn't understand "why" or "how" because these are words that eschews limitations and brings explanation. Sometimes we can feel it for the wrong people, at the wrong time and even in the most wrong of circumstances. Sometimes we can feel it for our bosses, our assistance, a person of different race and when we make effort to place a sense of it, it become stranger, more elusive and slippery to place our fingers on it. Love can be beautiful but it doesn't change the fact that it can also destroy us; our feelings, our lives and change us to maladjusted people, numb and immune to its effect after we've felt how catastrophic it can be. People often refrain from its effect because it turn the most reliable people to being unreasonable and this is because love is largely unfair especially when it's not reciprocable

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Why Is It Hard To Get Over Someone?

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First it's difficult to heal when love goes wrongly. Sometimes we dwell in the beautiful moments, we often relieve the pleasant experiences that love once brought us, we hold onto attachments that makes us remember the people we've unconditionally loved in the past. These memories becomes attachments, we remember them so strongly, the thing we did in the sunset, under our closet, the smell of these people's perfume, their favourite words, the songs we once listened together to and even how their smile brightens our day. Yet one of the most ironical part is wanting to let go of these memories yet we cling to it because it completes us entirely. So it becomes harder, it's not the people we can't let go of....

It's the memories, the moments the things we specifically felt with them and we're at war with ourselves, we want to let go but then we can't. We fear we can never find people like them again and when we're at war, our hearts wants to hold on but our head wants us to let go and because of these we become indecisive and we keep suffering the more. Getting detached, being busy, taking time and finding new memories will eventually make us heal but then, we might eventually heal, we might not.

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My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian student who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet And Sports Writer/Analyst. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers

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@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart

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