As a child, I always had trouble communicating how I felt in such a clear way that I felt understood and content about what I said..
So for the longest period of time, when something was bothering me I would keep it to myself
As I grew older and started working/creating a life for myself, I grew a little out of it but it never really went away. When I speak up about what is bothering me, it takes a lot from me..
Because I never want to make someone else feel bad or attacked.. and to go even deeper, I was always afraid that when I spoke up, the peace that I knew with that person would go away..
So now I would over-explain
add to all this that I physically cannot live with injustice.. whether it's directed to me or someone else
This puts me in a constant conflict with myself as to whether I should speak up or not...
At a certain point I started to feel like I never really knew peace for myself and I really had trouble accepting this..
A few years ago, I got myself a journal..
And at first I didn't really know why I got it but I kept it with me at all times. And that is how in 1 moment of conflict I started writing..
I just wrote out everything that I had trouble processing in my head..
all of it, the fears, the doubts, the hurt, the injustice...
all of it... And it made me feel calm...
So I kept doing this and at a certain point I realized that the reason why I was in such conflict with myself is because I didn't understand me...
And if I don't understand me.. How can I expect others to do so?
Writing... Journaling helped me to make situations tangible...
It helped me to look at the facts that I wrote down and the things that I would miss when I was emotionally overwhelmed in my head and in my heart...
Because no matter how many times I re-read what I wrote..
What I wrote would stay the same...
But when you are in your head in the middle of the situation, your emotions can lead you astray and keep your focus from what matters and what is important.
Fast forward to today;
I have about 15 journals all for different subjects in my life..
Some or used for Tarot interpretations, dream interpretations, Poetry, my take on spirituality... etc..
But journaling helped me get to know me.. I could read what I wrote and hear myself explaining the situation and it'll feel like for the first time I'm really hearing myself
In a way journaling helped save me from myself...
In love,
Cloé
You are right, when I write in a journal my disjointed thoughts on a particular issue, it relaxes me and has many a time help in bringing clarity and better understanding of it, towards getting a solution. Thank you.
It feels great to know that I'm not alone 🙌
Wonderfully written Cloe!
As you say there is a magic in putting the pen to paper. To write your thoughts down and give it a home, or just as a keepsake is important...especially in this fleeting world of technological stimulation where we often times lose ourselves to the race...the frantic race.
Thanks for the post and may you find success on HIVE.
Ps - think about doing videos as well. Use your girl power!
Thank you for the words of empowerment.
I really appreciate it.
I am more of behind the curtain type persone but I will take it into consideration
Wishing you the same succes tenfold ❤️🙌
I look forward to your future write ups
and please yes, do turn the idea over in your mind, you'll find much power in doing videos, blog style...talking about your days etc.
You actually have a great source to pull from, that is journals. Maybe you wake up one day and decide to flick through your old journals, and you find a passage that you've poetically written, and you find something within those secret things something worth sharing about to the world.
For example, your journey of "coming out of your shell" so to speak. Who knows it may help?
Take care Cloe!