Hey guys, hope you are doing well.
We, in which ages, all have at least a fear inside our heart. Sometimes, it is a good fear since it will stop you from wrongdoing; other times, it is completely a bad fear that will hold you back from doing the right thing which ends up with losing yourself and even ruining your life.
What do we fear and Why?
The fear of disappointing our loved ones' expectations!
As a kid, I feared being hit, scolded, punished by my mother for any mistakes I would have made. I do not blame her for that (kind of violent) method of education because it is a common way that most Vietnamese parents in her generation would do. Well, I have to say it works for me, somehow it makes me do everything with caution. My brain has always considered the pros and cons of different choices for my specific situation. But on the other hand, I have become an over-thinker, making quick decisions for an urgent issue seems a little too hard for me.
(Photo taken by me)
There are happy days, there are sad days but never have a day without fear. Now I am an adult and, gay, I have a brand new fear: being revealed by my mother for my sexuality. She was always expecting me to be a real straight girl, graduate from university, get a stable job for living, and find a good man to marry, take care of my family and live happily ever after. You might say that “Hey, relax, it is (the end of) 2021, don’t worry too much!”. I totally understand if she can not accept me as who I am. Even when she gets angry at me and reacts aggressively, I am prepared for that. What I really fear is seeing the disappointment, sadness and disgust on her face.
In the end, I have not come out yet, I fear disappointing my loved ones' expectations for who I am. Why? You will never want to hurt the feelings/emotions of anyone you love.
The fear of being taken advantage of!
When we try to do something, we just think that our endeavor might contribute to a bigger purpose, a wonderful outcome. But unfortunately, nowadays, people tend to take our effort for granted.
You work so hard for a team project which helps your whole team achieve good results, your teammates start to do nothing and still get the same score as you. You accomplish the given task perfectly because you just want to dedicate to the company's progress, but later on, your manager keeps assigning you the complicated ones because they think you will accept every kind of task, without complaint as other staff (while they are completely able to get the work done!). You lend your friend some money because they are really in need and then, they keep coming to you for money without paying back the previous amount.
We work hard and harder just to assure that the work will be done. But at the same time, we fear that people think of us like a fool and use us for their personal benefits.
Day by day, we fear trying our best, giving out all of our effort and seem to be holding back our ability since nobody wants to be an idiot - someone to be used and despised, we all hope to be valued, respected and admired.
(Photo taken by me)
The fear of doing the right thing could lead to someone’s tragedy!
We have repeatedly been taught that “Be kind to everyone! Help as many people as you can”. We did it every time we had a chance, but then, our society became more and more complicated that we hardly had to choose whether we should help or should not.
At the street corners in Vietnam, you might see some miserable kids or even the elderly, begging for money. You feel bad for them, humanity urges you to help by giving them money and even food. You did it without any other thought or hesitation. But then, newspapers with reliable and official sources warned people not to give those money because they might be under the control of traffickers. Giving money is harmful for them as the traffickers will force them to continue the job, and if they refuse to do so, they will surely be abused even with violence.
What is worse than your helping hand turning into a harmful hand for someone's life? So yes, I do fear my kindness will be misplaced which could lead to a bad trauma.
It is so sad that we are becoming more fearful over time…
With the development of the Internet, we update news every single second. The same subjects, in the same places, at the same times but different perspectives and expressions might confuse us. The more information we get, the more distracted we become. Our final analysis result or judgement is affected by our emotions and I think, fear is included. There are moments that we can not make up our mind for the right and wrong.
We were not born with fear but we were taught to have fear inside our heart and mind, it could be by the family, by the society or just by our own journey of learning.
I will not ask you “Let’s leave the fear aside” because being fearful sometimes might stop you from doing evil things.
Instead, I would rather encourage you to improve more, whether it is knowledge, physique, personality, skills, mental health to be more confident and strong, so that even if you have fear inside your heart, your beautiful mind will keep pushing you to do the thing that it believes is good for your life!
(Photo taken by me)
Thank you so much for reading my post.
Sending my warmest greetings for this holidays season and Merry Christmas!
Stay strong and Stay safe everyone!
[Vietnam,24/12/2021]
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