I've never been the man to want a lot of people around me socially. I'd not go as far as saying I'm quiet in social situations but I tend to feel a little awkward and out of place; a feeling I prefer to avoid and so I avoid large gatherings and social engagements where possible. That's not to say I'm anti-social, I'm far from it, just very selective with who I spend my time with which is why I have a close and rather small group of friends and can be guarded with those not in it.
When I go out and about it's alone or with one other person and, occasionally a few others, people from my friends group mainly. In these situations I let my guard down and like to have a good time. We go somewhere to eat and generally chat, tell lies and solve the world's problems, see a band or some such activity. I have gatherings at home occasionally also, but I'm very selective when it comes to bringing people into my home and so it's not often and only those from a very select (smaller) group of people.
Over the last couple of years I've found I'm not as keen to go out as I used to be - which wasn't all that keen to begin with - and I've tended to stay home rather than go out. I'm referring to night's out and not getting out hiking, shooting, off-roading and such things which I do a lot. The pandemic situation is the reason, we couldn't go out for so long, or the conditions under which we could were preventative or not acceptable to me. I'm ok with it mostly, but this week one of close friends asked me to get a meal and I felt happy to do so; it felt right.
I was left to select the location for the small gathering, four of us in total, and I chose a pub close to home that I'd heard did decent meals, a balance of quality and price, and had recently been refurbished so the the setting was reportedly nice.
We gathered there, found a booth and ordered a beer. We were in a section that was outside but covered, and with some rainfall, funky music and conversation it seemed really relaxed and cosy which was exactly what I needed after the day I'd had. We chatted, swapped our recent news, solved some of the world's biggest problems, then ordered some food.
I split a small margherita pizza with one of the others and ordered a chicken schnitzel and chips with mushroom gravy. My co-pizza-eater ordered a salt and pepper calamari with chips, all of which you can see pictured. My photography isn't great so don't judge, it tasted way better than it looks!
As we ate we chatted, quietly mostly but not exclusively, and generally had a good time.
I used to work with the fellow some twenty five years ago and we've been through a lot together. I haven't known his girlfriend for quite as long but she's pretty cool and the night was enjoyable. I'll admit to the greatly over-exaggerated retelling of many stories from the old days between me and my mate; the other two either laughed, called bullshit on our embellishments or joined in as appropriate. A couple hours and a few beers later we declared mission success on the catch up parted ways.
I'm of the belief that good company makes average food great and it was certainly the case a few nights ago.
The food wasn't bad at all, just average; the location is a local suburban pub aimed at everyday Australian's like me and there were no frills, just decent food. But, sharing my table with the quiet company of my mate, his girlfriend and my co-pizza-eater made that food great...Made the whole night great. I guess, for a selectively-social person like me, I have to ensure I socialise with the right people and that means spending my time with people who uplift me, make me feel engaged and energised rather than those who sap that energy like those at the catch up a few days ago.
I'm content spending time with myself or one other, a small group of close friends sometimes too. What I don't like is large groups, noisy places and strangers. How about you? Do you have a large friends group or a select few like me? Do you prefer small groups and quieter moments or do you like to have more people around you, to be entertained? Tell me about it in the comments if you like.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
The image is my own
Like me, I don't really like going out with large numbers of groups of people. Though I can't escape a larger group since my friends and their friends became mine but I don't consider them closed. They just perhaps like my company so when they'd have plans they called me. It's fun sometimes but most of the time it's not and just what you said, it's just too noisy.
Yeah, the companions make the food better because of the fun we spend together.
There's nothing wrong with having a larger friends group, it's just not my style though I guess. I prefer quality over quantity.
Nowadays I live alone (in terms of people), and I am starting to get used to it. At least no one disturbs me. Except sometimes a few gypsies in the nearby city.
I live with my Harris's hawk. We love each other.
People often complicate matters for each other for various reasons, I don't really know why. Boredom maybe?
Maybe. I wish that I know. Good question.
I'd say I have a few proper circles, some big and some small. I maintain a decent connection with small groups of people from different communities and groups. And we all gel quite well I'd say. But when it comes to actual friends, then I'll have to say that only a handful of people have earned that badge and I truly like it that way.
In the past few years I had to "filter" out quite a few people or at least maintain some distance, for my own betterment. Sometimes choosing to isolate myself, being a bit "selfish" just to focus on myself and my future. I believe I'm at a crucial point in life, a turning point, a place where every decision I make counts and compounds towards the future.
That is why I don't or simply can't make that much time for friends and hangouts anymore. It used to be the total opposite a few years ago haha, Covid changed all that I guess.
I make a very clear distinction between friends and acquaintances and each has their place.
Thanks for your comment.
Yess sirrr, everyone plays a role, small or big.
First of all, I love that Pizza 🍕
I was the same person a few years back. I used to be very choosy when it came to picking my friends. If someone I didn't like was there, I would literally not enjoy the party or not even host them well.
But now I am not like that. Maybe I have matured with time. I try to fit in with people I don't like, atleast I try. But I don't ty to hard because if I am not happy around someone, I don't see any point being around them.
Fitting in when in social interactions is important but, as you say, I don't think it's smart to fit in at those times when you're not happy, comfortable or made to feel welcome. Thanks for commenting.
Ah I go by the general rule that you can't really have more than 5 good friends because I don't have the time. I have 6 at the moment and trying to offload one. I am like you. Shit in large group. My niche is 2-4. That's when I thrive. It's funny what you said around Covid and getting back out. The pubs in Ireland are dead quiet after covid because nobody can be arsed going out. The farmers are all happy with a few tinnys at home watching Netflix than to be going down the mountain in the cold and give away their money.
Two to four is a perfect number I'd say, as long as they're the right people of course, but that goes without saying.
I was just talking to someone this morning about the way the pandemic situation has affected so many aspects and certainly pubs, clubs, restaurants and cafe's which all have spin-off effects of course. We have cafe's in the city below high rise office buildings that now contain no, or a small percentage of the workers they once did, and the cafe's are either closed down or struggling. Think of the food and coffee suppliers, the companies that deliver them etc.
But, in my case, it's like you say, I just don't feel the need to go out much and I'm content with that state of being.
Thanks for your comment.
Loner myself, even when younger big crowds and noise put me off. Enjoyed the odd night club with friends preferred quiet meals with a couple of buddies as well.
With age one also settles comfortably when out walking or hiking, if it is safe. We judge ourselves enough throughout our lives, why put yourself into limelight giving everyone the option to sum you up as well?
!LUV
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Big crowds and noise 🤮
Allergic to both!
Life needs to be done deliberately, it avoids wasting time of fluff; by focusing on what's important! Smaller groups allow focus, by showing respect for others too.
The only advantage of large groups, which are just a collection of smaller groups; is that it allows you to walk away from idiots, by changing groups. People aren't insulted, because these small groups are fluid.
I also prefer to know my co-pizza-eaters, to just avoid the idiots ahead of time! ⏱️Beesides, I always am selective about whom I spend time with...life's too short to suffer a fool anyway!
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I like that line...life done deliberately.
This is true, and I guess it allows one to assess a lot of people quickly. I still don't like big groups though.
Selective time-spending is smart.
You already live life deliberately, that's one of the reasons I like talking to you!
I usually avoid large groups myself, for similar reasons...never suffer a fool.
Time is ultimately the only thing we can spend, it just sometimes takes the form of money. So, continue to spend carefully!💸💸💸💸
Stay safe.
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Thanks mate, appreciated.
Have a great weekend when it arrives. Under two hours to 17:00 and my weekend so...✅😀
You're cheating by being on the other side of the international date line! Glad some quality time is imminent. ⏱️⏱️👍
Go turn some money into noise, ROFLOL!🥳😁
I hope you have as much fun as I did....
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I've spent so much time alone now, I don't even know what I like anymore....LOL !!
The food looks good though. It's true if you enjoy the company you're with, it is more about the visit than the food.
I'm glad you had an enjoyable time.
I've eaten the most basic food, but shared it with good people, and it turned into something else entirely; something better. I guess it's all perspective right?
Perspective is everything !
Indeed it is. I'm probably doing it for a #weekwnd-engagement topic soon.
Honestly, it is a good thing to let ones guard down once in a while to spens time with friends or your family. Cos they are worth celebrating. @galenkp Time spent together is you celebrating them. Although lke me I also prefer small circles too...infact, I am currently writing a blog post on how I took some of my friends out to a food outlet.😁
Letting one's guard down is fraught with danger although, with the right people and in the right situation, it can be quite liberating. Good luck with your blog.
Yes..it could be dangerous..but
with the right...Yes.
Growing up with six brothers with many friends, there was always a crowd at our house. Always. When I left home, I became part of my job and socialized - becoming part of the team was important to those I worked with.
Until I became comfortable being me, and then I preferred small, intimate numbers. Great company makes a peanut butter sandwich a treat. It is never about the food, that is just incidental. There are some people that make me feel bigger than life.
This is a great subject, Galen.
It's so important for me, a non-peopley person, to get those I spend time with right ones. When I do...good times.
The people right or the right people? One and the same or am I getting it wrong?