In my memory and in my heart, you are always there. | ENG-ESP

First of all, I would like to warn the reader that this is not the typical publication that leaves some kind of benefit or contribution for community. This article is purely personal, I call it a ''personal blog'' or simply an outlet. Anyway, no one denies that everything we read in this world is for some kind of learning, the best lessons come from experience.

Last April 28th my father passed away due to Covid-19. After several days in the hospital, following respiratory falls and other symptoms that his body could not cope with, my father died of Covid-19. He was sedated and his heart stopped beating. At least that's what the doctor told us. I think it's a vile lie, but still somehow I knew my father was not going to resist, something inside me was ready to receive the news.

Much of what I am is due to him. I have learned many things over the years and one of them is that no one is completely gone, it is not the one who leaves who dies, but the one who forgets. As long as I live, I will continue to remember him and as long as I have him in my heart, he is not dead to me. He is just resting, flying free.

We are children until our parents leave this earthly plane, until they pass away and make us feel like orphans. Our parents are the first relationships we have in our lives, so when one of them dies, it is as if a piece of our heart is being taken away. When my father passed away, I felt that my reference point in life had also died, it is like a feeling of desolation and loss.

When my father died, I continued to see him in dreams, nightmares, memories, photos, gifts, cars, toys from when I was a child, avenues and walls. And in fact, I thought that the day my father died I wanted to convince myself that he had not died, and that I kept him alive with blood of my blood and flesh of my flesh.

The day my father died, my father was born in me, but I was still looking for him. Where is the father who is not there, who is dead?

My father's death gave birth to a deep fear of absence, of loneliness, which then began to remind me of the same loneliness of my empty room when I would shut myself in silence to cry and to ask a God in whom I had the hope of believing for the most urgent and impossible request: one more day with my father.

We all suffer at some point in our lives the opening of a fundamental wound: the death of a father, the absence of a mother, rejection, loneliness, heartbreak, etc. When this wound is not attended to, it accompanies us all our lives as a mark that stands out on the skin of our heart, making us fear the presence of love and also the lack of it, to others and to ourselves, to death and to life.

And so it was that little by little I overcame one more loss in my life, a very valuable loss that made me change my perspective on things. And I always reflect, he is not dead, as long as I remember him with love. His spirit, his presence, I feel it here with me and I am very happy and proud to have been part of his life, to be his son.

Thank you dad for everything you have given me, everything you have taught me and everything I will be from now on. Thank you for being part of my evolution, my growth and my path. I understand that everything is a cycle and that you fulfilled yours on this earth, it is time to rest, it is time to contemplate the love that you have sown in us, your children. Thank you.

Peace to his soul.

I want to thank each and every one of those who were aware of me, of my process and those who with their words of encouragement motivated me and filled me with a smile, especially the entire team of the Natural Medicine community, family. I adore them. ♥