For anxiety prescribe drawing

One of the things that has cost me more work in life is to learn to control the episodes of anxiety, although in fact, I have come to consider that over the years instead of decreasing it has increased. It's funny because sometimes I try to ask for help and, in fear of being a burden my brain rectifies to that person and leaves me suffering in silence for quite a while.

I have the dark circles under my eyes more marked because I have noticed that even in my dreams I have come to feel anxious and it is when I wake up that I fall into the reality that I am facing a somewhat serious problem. Although I feel that I have matured enough because self-harm is no longer on my list of options to stop the speed at which my thoughts travel.

Gabriel posing elegantly

I don't talk about it with people because I feel devalued the moment they tell me: but you just need to calm down and not think about it. If only it were that easy, I think I could consider myself the most stable person in the world today, but the truth is that I am not.

I have social anxiety, it is one of those that has hit me the most in reality because it is difficult for me to approach people even to talk to them online, I always think a thousand times what I am going to say and in the end my conclusion is that I am bothering the person or that suddenly she will end up hating me. That's when I end up isolated in myself and I prefer not to talk to others because the incessant noise of my head tortures me sometimes.

But there is something that always works and, that something is art, creating is a tool that serves me to concentrate my attention counting those points and my thoughts stop traveling at full speed, I am here for a second and paying attention to the lines brings me back to life, that's it, back to life. This week my boyfriend gave me as a gift some colors and a notebook to be able to draw since I was beginning to be corrupted by panic and anxiety, I was losing a little control.

I have learned to love my seasons, the petals that fall, when I was a bud and when I grew thorns, because all of them are me.

Today, after thinking about it a lot like everything, I sat down in silence to draw very slowly, I'm not lying, at first it was difficult because I could not concentrate, but then the tide went down and I reestablished my emotions. My cheeks burned from blushing and a glass of cold water was what calmed the heat.

I remember when I was little I used to color without stopping, I would spend hours adding colors to my drawings and I felt like when you come back from the beach that the feeling of the waves still lingers in your body, well, today was exactly the same. I think the fear that was eating my soul today stopped and he took a break too, maybe he will come back tomorrow, but for now, we both rest in harmony.

🌹 Process 🌹