A day late my ordered book finally arrived. A day late...that was my first thought, but one I wiped away rather quick. It is thoughts like these that I want to detach from, was the book not one day late but right on time.

I don't know when exactly I became a seeker, it might have been the day I was born. A seeker for the truth within me. I have been pushing it away for the longest time, denying myself, but recently I allow myself more and more to search for it.

We are born into times where searching for a truth is misused by a few and ridiculed by many. Times were the ego is overwhelmingly in control and where fear rules most of our lives. Fear of weakness, financial burdens, war, mental freedom, fear of ourselves, fear of everything. Where we distract ourselves with all kinds of nonsense. I'm not an exception. A nonsense that is willingly supported by those afraid of the truth reaching the people.

We do not allow ourselves to dig deep enough because it would change the world we live in.

The book I ordered is a German translation of "The Upanishads".

The Upanishads are the last part of the Vedas, the oldest Indian scriptures that are said to contain the wisdom of the world. They are the philosophical part of the Vedas and contain dialogues between a teacher and a seeker.

It is very important to deal with the Upanishads in a responsible way. It is not a literature for superficial purposes. It will raise questions and give answers for those truly seeking knowledge, willing to confront themselves with their inner self.

Many have read the Vedas and Upanishads in history. There was a dark German time and those responsible for the suffering of millions misused and mistreated informations they gained from those scripts.

Others have discovered things and knowledge that led to the world we live in now. Technologies and scientific break throughs have been based on reading the oldest knowledge of humanity.

Many have read it, few have understood it.

One might argue why I start reading the last part of the Vedas first so to say, and that is a good question. I do so because I feel like doing it. I may be wrong and I might fool myself but the way will tell me.

Many things have allowed me lately to be more open to myself, to trust my gut and to embrace what is in me. I learn to withstand the ridicule of others, to gain somewhat control of my ego. It is far from being mastered but I feel the will to take little steps towards what I'm looking for.

I have ordered the German version first, the book is a summary of some of the most important texts, summarized by Sri Eknath Easwaran. It will be my first encounter with the origin of all religions. While I'm not looking for a god, I'm looking for certain answers.

Will it affect me? Most certainly.

I am curious where the journey will lead me, but I will pursue the path in the most responsible way possible. For myself and in honor of the wisdom.

I know I will be in conflict with my ego when reading it, I will go through a ton of emotions and society will challenge me on this way.

But if I not even try, everything will be lost to begin with.