You are right that people in much worse situation are much happier.

Maybe I am unhappy, because I received hate, excluding and bullying during most of my childhood just because I am different. My step-father was a violent, alcohol, lottery and smoke addict family abuser. We escapes from him in around 2000 or 2001. I lost my father in 1997, and I lost my mother in 2017. My brother went on a financial madness since then. He do not care about anything and anyone since then. He promised to visit me, but he did not. I currently do not even know where he lives. I currently live alone in a village. All I have is my Harris's hawk. Currently that is the only happiness in my life. I try to be positive, I try to improve, but the autism spectrum disorder really makes my whole life almost unbearably difficult. The whole life is basically a fight, but I do not like to fight.

Thank you so much for the support. I also look for some support in real life. The biggest one would probably be a second job in the afternoon (or in the night). That way my income would probably reach the mininum wage.