Part 2
In the previous 2 parts, we discussed why marriage is not suitable anymore as per today's society. I know it is quite easy to point out the faults in any system. Criticism is the easiest thing on the earth. What is tough is to find a solution to it. But don't worry, I am not going to leave it on you guys to find one!
Marriages were created for the safety of women and kids. Marriages were a perfect solution to all the human problems at that time, no doubt in that!
But since time has changed now, contraceptives have been created now, women have become more independent now, the old purpose of marriages, i.e, to keep a family together, to help the kids find a good environment, support of both their parents and help all of them fulfil each other needs, not just in present but in future too, is not actually getting served anymore.
People are facing the other side of the coin. They are feeling marriages to be a boundation and restriction instead of a support. In earlier days, boys used to poke their parents out of desperation to quickly find a partner for them. They used to tell everyone around them indirectly that they just want to get married as soon as possible and look at the scenario taking place right now.
The adults today are just running away from marriage. Their parents keep forcing them to quickly get settled but they don't. They want more time to enjoy their own time, their freedom, are afraid of the commitment, responsibilities and restrictions.
This clearly lays out that the only reason this desperation of marriage vanished away with time was that all they needed was sex !! Now they can get it without marriage so what's the need to marry?
If the generation understands this then why do we all keep ignoring it? Just because something has been done from ages doesn't make it right. And we all have been told to change with time, so what's wrong in changing the concept of marriages to something else?
But to what? Well, there are various options. Open marriage is my favourite one. Adoption of polygamy is also a subtle change in the concept of marriages that can help. Live-in relationship is another possible option. But what's most important is to understand that nothing stays forever!!
Flowing water never rots whereas if it stays in one place for long, it tends to mold, decay and smell. The same will happen to any relationship if it is put within boundaries. But the issue then is that without boundaries, everything will become a mess. That is why the best way is to put a door which can be opened and closed as per requirement.
What I am trying to say here is that the old concept of marriages creates strict boundaries which if broken, disrupts the complete relationship and breaks it in the modern era. Therefore these concept needs to be changed in a manner where boundaries exist but they are flexible in nature. Means both the partners need to be understanding enough that its okay to break the rules at times or mend the rules deliberately and mutually at the beginning itself. This is a decision every couple has to take as per their vantage. They should decide what rules they want to keep and what not.
Every rule bent gives a new name to their relationship and that is why there are various names like open marriages, polygamy etc. You can make one for yourself!
Like if you are open to see other people while still getting married, its called an open marriage. Similarly, if you are not a couple but more then 2 people married to each other, its called a polygamous relationship. There are various names given to marriages for every rule bent but you can make your own refined stem out of the marriage tree if you don't think these are suitable for you. I will discuss all these kind of marriages in part 4 of this article while introducing some new kind of marriages.
But I want to clear one thing that people usually mistake me for. Whenever someone tries to discuss a new possibility, people start judging them first and don't try to understand or discuss the idea. This is the reason why growth and development don't take place but what takes place is arguments and fights.
I want to keep it in front of you that I am not asking you all to become "modern" and forget why the concept of marriage was introduced in the first place. I am asking you to be more understanding of other people's feelings, their wants and expectation out of any kind of relationship.
If people start communicating more, we can understand each other more. You can't lash out about a concept just because it sounds 'western' while you yourself use all the western technologies, western languages and equipment. Noone is completely their own culture anymore after liberalization. If you don't like a concept, talk about their harmfulness as well as their benefits. Count all the pros and cons of all the concepts that exist and then choose the right one instead of just trying to prove your point because that's all you know about. Keep your mind open because this is a new world we are living in and that's how something new can be created, accepted and spread.
And moreover, these concepts of making amendments is not from western culture but Indian! If we open our history we will find out that Polyandry and polygamy were much more common in older days, not just in India but also in Africa, America, Tibet and so many other countries. You can google it if you doubt.
Will see you again in the next part because this is not a small topic !!
Thank you <3
Draupadi was one polyandrous woman found in ancient literature here. Yes, polyandry happened. Polygamy still happens. New society creates new norms. I think individual preferences can varry and it is better to envision with openness. All rules are created by the mankind...for the mankind. So, rules are re-written also. Norms change, preferences get altered. Problem is that everyone doesn't have preference. Often one is exploited. So a set of rules often helps to protect against exploitation. Even Draupadi's polyandry was forceful.
Exploitation cannot be stopped until a person learns and gets mature after a certain period of time once they get exploited. We all need to take a stand for ourselves. Not just Draupadi but there were many other queens too who are told to have children from people other than their husbands. It's just told that it was due to a 'Vardan' (blessing) or some metaphorical story... These things were pretty common in India, it can be seen through the various temple paintings or carvings too.
Thanks for commenting and upvoting :)
Only one thing happens after marriage: Divorce😟