Hello dear friend @macchiata good morning
I am very sorry for what you had to go through, having suicidal thoughts is not something you want to deal with.
Swimming is a very complete sport in addition to exercising all the organisms of the body, it is a good way to relax and forget a little about the things that disturb us
The gym can also help improve physically and mentally
It is good to know that you have had an improvement and I wish with all my heart a total improvement
I take this opportunity to wish you a splendid day