Lessons in Posture: Courtesy of Grandma's Elbow

I’ll never forget the sound of my grandmother’s elbow hitting my chest, GBAM!, on a hot Sunday afternoon. That blow literally knocked the wind out of my lungs; I couldn’t breathe for 10 seconds.

Men, after that day I remember asking myself, How my mother survived childhood with this type of person as a mother😅

What made her strike my chest? Well, let me do a quick rewind for you.

I had just entered JSS2, and finally I could be called a senior, even though it was by the new JSS1 students. The feeling of having a class below me filled me with so much pride; I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I attended an all-girls Catholic boarding school, so we all lived in the hostel. Deep down, I wanted to be different. I wanted the JS1 students to know and respect me, to tremble at the sight of me.

So what did I do? I beat an unsuspecting JS1 student who stepped on my clean socks; nah, I’m just kidding😅😅, my heart wouldn’t let me. But I wanted to show myself so badly.

One day, a senior student gave me a bucket of washed clothes to help her spread over at the spreading ground. In my mind, I was thinking a whole senior like me shouldn’t be doing this.

But of course I couldn’t say any of that to her face. I reluctantly took the bucket and sluggishly made my way to “The Back." That’s what we called the spreading ground. On getting there, all I heard was commotion.

“You must be very stupid, I said kneel down and fly your arms now!” was what I heard before I heard the sound of a cane hitting flesh, followed by a loud scream.

"Please, senior Jolade, I won’t do it again.” A young student broke down in tears. The poor girl guarded her left wrist with her right arm, her eyes red from the pain and crying.

“Let me get to my room and find out that anything is missing, Wallahi; you won’t like what I would do to you!” Jolade said and turned to leave through the crowd of people she had drawn.

I couldn’t help but stare in awe as she sashayed her way to the exit. Her chest unnaturally arched forward as though she was about to chest bump someone, and then she moved her hips in such a feminine way that I could only but admire her.

Of course I would never treat a junior in the way she just did, but for some weird reason, I admired her fierceness.

So what did I do? I decided that even though I wouldn’t punish juniors like Snr. Jolade, I would change my walking step to march hers. And ever since that day, I started to arch my chest forward when walking.

Some other seniors were doing it too, so I figured it wasn’t an issue. What I didn’t know was that my grandmother had come to our house to visit, and she was going to be staying for a couple of weeks.

That’s how our midterm break rolled around, and I went back home to see my family people o😅. My parents and siblings rushed to embrace me when we arrived at the house.

Then I saw my darling grandmother seated in a chair adjacent to the parlor. I walked up to her with a big smile on my face, and of course, my chest puffed out. I was about to greet, but I didn’t even get the greeting out before I heard a loud GBAM on my chest.

The force was so strong; I fell to my knees, struggling to catch a breath. When I finally could comprehend what was happening, I heard some giggling in the background, and my grandma was at my side helping me get up.

When I finally got up and stood straight, she turned to me and said

“See, I fixed your chest! You no longer look like a chicken.”

And of course my siblings all burst into laughter around me. I felt shocked and betrayed😄, but guess what? I never did that shit again! I don’t even know who 13-year-old me thought I was.

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That’s one of the bad habits I picked up. Did you have any bad habits while growing up? Please do not hesitate to share them in the Hive Naija community under the weekly prompts

If you want to know what happened between the junior and Jolade, check the comments...

_{Images used are partly mine and partly Meta AI.}

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Thank you for reading!🤗