oh LADY!!!!!!!!!!

i am not kidding when I tell you that I had ( and still feel them) CHILLS up and down my arms and back! hehehe and i'm also not kidding to say another fresh wave up them just attacked.

i could hear you ROAR in this!!! I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! I was mm hmmm! ing and ahaaaa-ing throughout this - and just SEEING AND HEARING you grip those reins tightly in your hands and shout to the horses "YAAAA!" HEHEHEHEH

i love it - i simply love it. it's truly scary as hell. and i LAUGHED OUT LOUD when you said you'd rather just say no and play Elder Scrolls online. because - (both hands raised right now for my online games that just help me drown out the fear and anxiety and also steal away moments, hours, days TOWARDS my dream)

ughhh. i GET it. oh my gosh i so get it and seriously - i barked with l aughter cuz i was just thinking GO JULES!!! FOR WRITING IT DOWN AND PUTTING IT OUT THERE. hahahaha

like 2 weeks ago I remember telling Pen "I just don't want to."

and he was SO kind and compassionate to not yell and harp and guilt me... and just hear me and hug me through it. cuz sometimes that's just what we need. you know? to just be allowed to flail and fail a bit... just so that we can FEEL that its NOT what we want. that we actually DO want to do the hard things and shut the game off and press on.

and let all the feels rage hehehe and flow and overwhelm and keep going!!!

all throughout the speekpeece challenge geez. it was rough. really rough. i just was pushing back and pulling in - to push back again. and drown a little and then breathe a little and then drown all over again.

it was freaking exhausting. and i'll be brutally honest again - hahaha i'm GLAD its freaking over.

but it was good.
cuz it did its job.

and now we choose and we champion and we charge forward!!!

i am SO SO thrilled with your courage displayed. not just in this post - but in your LIFE. keep sharing with us. hehehe you encourage us to keep striving!!! hehehe love you!