I don't think many people have been following this series from the beginning, but if so I want to tell you that I am impressed that I am not bored to read the many depressing, unreflective and contradictory lines of my diary. Today I no longer consider myself the king of procrastination that I once was, now I am more than a commoner in the kingdom. I have changed a lot, before I could stay in my bed handicapped by the weakness of my will, unable to even get up to brush my teeth or just eat.
When working on my own, it was a constant struggle against all the distractions that my mind could generate in just 1 second, but a very strange phenomenon happened if I had to work in a company, I become the most productive, responsible and dedicated of all, basically the perfect employee. It is something that I have noticed over time, I have realized that being self-disciplined is very difficult for me, but being disciplined in my area of work makes me feel like a fish in water. Anyway, discipline depends on me, I am the one who decides what to do, what not to do and in what order, so why does my will depend on whether I do it for me only or for me while I do it for someone else? What makes everything different? I still can't find answers to these questions, but if I manage to find it, I have the idea of transposing this dedication to whatever I propose to myself.
One of the tricks I have learned to be more productive is basically to be forcing myself to do it, making myself detach from everything that keeps me in comfort and put myself in a state of survivor, enough to do what needs to be done to emerge, so far it has worked, but this should not be a habit, but a way to know yourself and thus get into that "Productivity" mode easier without having to starve yourself in the process.
Just now I set out to write again on Hive, constant, it has always been the highest rock for me to climb. I started creating a plan of action, schedules and a table of contents of the articles I will upload per week. Another very useful tool when it comes to being more productive stop thinking and start writing everything down, get organized and manage myself, the mind is tricky and easily distracted, if you write everything down it will be more difficult to forget it.
I was thinking of getting into the habit of writing outside my room, to tell myself "You are out there, you have no choice but to write", yes, self blackmail. Now I am in a bakery/bar that is open 24 hours a day, it seemed to me a good place to write my diary, there are people around, I like it, sometimes I think that the more people there are, the more lonely I am.
I think I'm close to a catharsis for the first time in my life, but in the meantime I'll have fun trying to understand my mind a little more.
That's all for now, we'll see you in another post.
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