Cuando comenzamos una relación es inevitable no ilusionarse, crearse expectativas y más. Yo reconozco que caí en ellas rápido. Y Ojo, esto no es malo, es normal; pero sí hay que saber llevarlas. En una de las primeras salidas, estuvimos con sus amigos compartiendo. A mitad de la noche llegó una persona, a quien él había ayudado en una oportunidad pero que también tenía pendiente reclamarle un asunto que había pasado anteriormente con su ex pareja. Yo al enterarme de esto, me hace un poco de ruido y me molesto porque no entiendo si ya pasó por qué reclamar esto, además ya no estás con ella, sino conmigo. Dejo pasar la situación y avanzo y como no me daba motivos para seguir desconfiando, seguí fluyendo; pero precavida.A few months ago, I met a boy; good-looking, professional, gentleman, likes to help other people, cheerful, with good feelings and more.
Our contact became stronger day by day, because we saw that we agreed on many things, there was a very strong chemistry between us and we began to go out. Really, I confess that it was a long time since I felt that emotion to see someone, that mischief, those nerves to see the person you like, that desire to be by their side and share moments. Well, I had been without a partner for about 5 years, since the boys who approached me did not make me want to establish a relationship.
With the presence of this boy in my life, I felt the need to open up a little and let myself flow, and why not, if I liked him. With him - despite the short time - I felt that I could establish a stable love relationship.
Pasamos un tiempo sin vernos, porque a mi me dio Covid19 y estuve en cuarentena; él siempre estuvo para mí, vía telefónica, en esos momentos de crisis, de angustia. Al salir de ésta, nos vemos. Imagínense, había mucha más emoción de vernos, -debo confesarles que cuando estaba con él se me subía el nivel de alegría, era algo que no podía esconder jeje se me notaba- esa noche la pasábamos bien cuando recibe una llamada, y yo lo noto algo nervioso; al rato me dice, que debe irse porque su hermana tuvo un accidente automovilístico; realmente le creí y entendí que debía irse a ayudarla. Pues él arregló todo por teléfono, consiguió que un amigo la ayudara y así no tuvo que irse. –ese gesto, lo agradecí pues, me demostró que quería seguir compartiendo conmigo- Al avanzar la noche, me confesó que quien tuvo el accidente no fue su hermana sino su ex pareja. Ya podrán imaginarse como me sentí! Las mentiras no me gustan, lo hablamos y pasó; pero saben qué, ya es el segundo strike, -el ruido que sentía por su ex pareja se me estaba intensificando-.When we start a relationship, it is inevitable not to get excited, to create expectations and more. I admit that I fell into them fast. And eye, this is not bad, it is normal; but you do have to know how to carry them.
In one of the first outings, we were with his friends sharing. In the middle of the night a person arrived, whom he had helped on one occasion but who also had pending to claim an issue that had previously happened with his former partner.
When I found out about this, it makes me a bit of noise and it bothers me because I don't understand if it has already happened, why claim this, besides, you are no longer with her, but with me.
I let the situation pass and move forward and since it gave me no reason to continue distrusting, I continued to flow; but cautious.
La gota que rebasó el vaso fue, que me dice que está saliendo a llevarle la torta de cumpleaños al hijo de su ex pareja, yo sin duda no pude evitar reclamarle por qué iba a ir hasta allá, por qué no la enviaba con algún amigo, por qué me ocultó eso hasta el final, por qué no me dijo lo que tenía pensado hacer, pues hacía tiempo que había mandado hacer la torta, ya había planificado, por qué no me tomó en cuenta, por qué irrespetar de esa manera la relación que estaba iniciando conmigo? Bueno, realmente en mi cabeza había muchos por qué y que lamentable que de su parte no conseguí una respuesta argumentada. –yo sentía mucha rabia, pues siempre hablábamos de la comunicación, lo importante que es, para que él actuara así-. Sus respuestas fueron muy vacías, y llegó el momento en el que dejó de responderme y desapareció de mi vida. No supe más de él. Con su actitud, asumí que no le importó lo que yo pensara, prefirió salir como un cobarde y desatarse de la situación.We spent a while without seeing each other, because Covid19 gave me and I was in quarantine; He was always there for me, by phone, in those moments of crisis, of anguish.
When we leave this one, we see each other. Imagine, there was much more emotion to see us, -I must confess that when I was with him, my level of happiness rose, it was something that I could not hide hehe I could tell- that night we had a good time when he receives a call, and I notice it somewhat nervous; After a while he tells me that he must go because his sister had a car accident; I really believed him and understood that he should go and help her. Well, he arranged everything over the phone, got a friend to help her, so she didn't have to leave. -Thank you for that gesture, it showed me that you wanted to continue sharing with me-
As the night progressed, he confessed that the one who had the accident was not his sister but his former partner. You can imagine how I felt! I don't like lies, we talked about it and it happened; but you know what, it's already the second strike, -the noise he felt for his ex-partner was intensifying.
Es obvio que aun carga con el fantasma de su ex encima y créanme así no es bueno establecer una relación, cada capítulo amoroso en nuestras vidas, requiere de un duelo y sanación para poder cerrar ese ciclo. Yo no me opongo a las amistades con su ex parejas, pero eso se ve y se siente cuando ya sanaste a tu ex y como el cariño se transformó. Con esta historia quiero decirles que no se apresuren, que vayan con cuidado por muy buena persona que creas que es, dale tiempo de conocerlo a él y su entorno, indaga sobre su anterior relación aunque no veas nada extraño no sabes cuando el fantasma de ella sale o si el fantasma es él. Fluye pero con cautela, exige, habla y siempre háganle caso a su intuición, esa nunca les falla. Un dato curioso, cuando nos conocimos por como coincidimos; siempre nos decíamos que no creíamos en casualidades, que cada quien tiene un objetivo en la vida del otro. Yo entendí que llegué a su vida para demostrarle que aun siente por su ex y yo aprendí que mi felicidad depende de mí y no de quien tengo a mi lado.The straw that broke the glass was, that he tells me that he is going out to bring the birthday cake to the son of his ex-partner, I certainly could not help but complain why he was going there, why he did not send it with a friend Why did he hide that from me until the end, why did he not tell me what he was planning to do, because he had had the cake made for a long time, he had already planned, why did he not take me into account, why disrespect the relationship that was starting with me? Well, there was actually a lot of why in my head and how unfortunate that I didn't get a reasoned answer from him. -I was very angry, because we always talked about communication, how important it is, for him to act like that.
His answers were very empty, and the moment came when he stopped answering me and disappeared from my life. I did not hear more about him. With his attitude, I assumed that he did not care what I thought, he preferred to come out as a coward and untie himself from the situation.
It is obvious that he still carries the ghost of his ex on him and believe me it is not good to establish a relationship, each love chapter in our lives requires a grief and healing to be able to close that cycle. I am not opposed to friendships with your ex-partners, but that is seen and felt when you already healed your ex and how the affection was transformed.
With this story I want to tell you not to rush, to be careful no matter how good a person you think he is, give him time to get to know him and his surroundings, inquire about his previous relationship even if you don't see anything strange, you don't know when her ghost comes out or if the ghost is him. Flow but cautiously, demand, speak and always listen to your intuition, it never fails you.
A curious fact, when we met because of how we coincide; We always told ourselves that we did not believe in coincidences, that each one has a goal in the life of the other. I understood that I came into his life to show him that he still feels for his ex and I learned that my happiness depends on me and not on who I have by my side.
