Learn to say "NO"

We are humans, and we are social beings. Life doesn't remain the same all the time. Sometimes we need the help of others and sometimes we need to help others, and it's for the sake of humanity. Trying to help others is a very good habit, and in that case, I never doubt it.

I said that we are humans, not angels. We don't have the divine power to help everyone, as we have limitations. It's impossible to help everyone, even if we want to do so. So we must act based on our capabilities. Each person needs different kinds of help. Some need financial help, some need help with suggestions, advice, and guidelines, and some need the help of mental support. Again, some people need favors or do tasks on their behalf. As we can't help everyone, we need to learn how to say "NO" when we are not capable or don't want to help them. Saying "NO" is an art, and everyone can't refuse to help others for various kinds of reasons. As a result, they need to take stress for it sometimes. I am sharing some of my experiences and how I say "NO" to others.

I always try to keep a low profile in front of others. I love to keep my skills secret because I know that if people know about my skills, they will trouble me even for a silly matter that could be done by them if they made efforts. But to be honest, I don't have any time for such kinds of things. I don't want to help those who don't want to put any effort into their task. They are not helping themselves; why should I? I am not a servant to do their task. I should help those who deserve my help. Instead of keeping a low profile, it's hard to hide skills from relatives and friends, and they also come to ask for help, and it's difficult to refuse them.

When it comes to financial help, I am always serious, and I don't want to help anyone with finance except in a few cases. If someone asks for money from me, I directly tell them I don't keep my money in my pocket, which is also true as I give all the earnings from offline to my parents. So I don't need to lie to anyone. I suggest they ask for money from my parents. As well as I know, no one dared to ask for money from my parents till now. I think it works well in my case. It's the way I indirectly say no to others.

1 year ago, I was irritated with helping others with their task. I used to face a busy day, and after returning home at night, I needed to help others with their task. Some even emotionally blackmailed me to do tasks for them using my parents. Today one person needed help, the next day someone else needed help, and after that, someone else needed help on other days. It was a stressful situation for me, as I didn't get enough time for myself either. I realized that I couldn't go that way. The first thing I have done is restrict internet connectivity to all of my social media, through which others used to contact me. It was a very effective way, and my problem was reduced a lot. I believe that if someone truly needs my help, s/he must contact me directly or on my mobile calls. So, it was also an indirect way to say no to others.

Most of the time relatives used to trouble me, and they even used my parents to do their tasks, and it was hard to refuse. I also played the same tricks against them. I directly told my parents to tell others that I am not available or facing busy times and it's hard to help them. It also works well, and they say no to them on the behalf of mine. I believe parents should take the side of mine, not the relative, as I am their child.

Instead of playing all the tricks, some people ask for help, and I feel it's not worthy of wasting my time to help them, I directly say "NO" to them, and I don't care about what they think, as I feel they can help themselves if they want after making efforts. I don't want them to ask for help from me anytime for such a reason. A harsh rejection is good for me to avoid future troubles.