Acceptance is the first TRUE step to beginning the grieving process. Many people don't come to terms and begin to accept the reality until long after the traumatic event. The sooner one can come to terms with the unchangeable reality the sooner they can begin to heal. All of this was outside of your control and that leaves a feeling of helplessness and regret. However, once you realize that you could have done nothing to influence or change the outcome you can forgive yourself and accept the things outside of your control. Then the grieving process truly begins. Just know, it comes in waves and that you will have good days and bad days and don't be surprised if it hits you and comes out of nowhere. Allow yourself to be human and feel what you need to cope, manage, and overcome this difficult situation. Grieving is on your time... so don't feel you have to rush the process or even fully understand it. I hope this helps you as much as possible. Hang in there!
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Thank you so much for these thoughts towards me in these moments! Acceptance is something that I struggle with in the sense of trying to make sense of what happened, that I did not manage to say goodbye and have a real conversation with her. In the same time I feel somehow that I can't do anything at this point. My mother told me that I should accept that some decisions of older people do not have to make sense and maybe my grandmother did not want me to see her in her last days . It is difficult to accept that I can't understand some things. Life does go on and it has to, regardless of my pain. I have moments when I feel guilt and moments when I feel an intense sadness and I just sob. I have short moments when I almost try to forget and then I feel guilty because I should mourn. It is a very difficult process for me as it is the first time when I lose a loved one like this.