An Unnecessary Evil, Memoir Monday #8

I’m a bit late with my entry for the eighth installment of Memoir Monday, for which we are to talk about something we would have done differently in our lives.

Part of me wishes I hadn’t started writing for these Memoir Monday prompts! Because I remember, and must write about, events or conditions that were painful for me. This prompt especially. Hence, I put it off until I saw that the ninth installment announcement had been posted.

The days fly by more quickly than they used to, it seems. Does anyone else find this to be true?

But I’m not going to avoid this prompt.

Let’s get into it.

There are a great many things in my life that I wish had never occurred. I wish my son had not died of Crohn’s disease. I wish my husband had not died of ALS. I wish my mother had not had a devastating stroke that made her final three years, at a too-young age, so difficult for all of us. I wish my daughters did not both have Crohn’s disease. I wish all of my dogs had not died of cancers under ten years of age. I wish my dear friend Gina had not died of multiple myelitis. I wish my brother did not have lung cancer.

What did/do all of these people have in common?

Very regular medical “care,” including all vaccines suggested by the US Centers for Disease Control. Regular diagnostic tests such as colonoscopies, MRIs, MREs, CT scans usually with radioactive contrast, mammograms, xrays, bone density tests, dexa-scans etc.

Every "well child" visit to a pediatrician saw at least one vaccine injected into a child's flesh.

Whenever someone travelled to another country, they had to get multiple vaccines. Now adults are expected to get multiple vaccinations every year, even if they have no plans to go abroad.

Whenever someone feels pain, they are irradiated.

Whenever one of my children got a high fever, it was off to the hospital with them, where they were immediately hooked up to an IV. If they were very sick, steroids and broad-spectrum antibiotics were pumped in just in case, even before any doctor had seen the patient.

All of this was true for my departed dogs, too.

Each and every one of those medications is poisonous. Each and every one of those tests is harmful. Each and every visit to a doctor is now accompanied by a poisonous vaccine or two, at least one prescription for a toxic substance, and in many cases an order for a harmful test. More time is being spent at labs or clinics, more time is spent talking to insurance companies that refuse to pay. All of this leads to more stress and more illness.

My children had regular colonoscopies at early ages after their stomach aches started. They had xrays when they swallowed pennies, fell from trees, or went to the dentist. I gave them Tylenol whenever they had a fever, along with other over the counter medications. Steroids of all kinds were used to manage their Crohn's symptoms. I thought “I know steroids are dangerous, but the best pediatric gastroenterologist in Manhattan (Dr. Joseph Levy) keeps prescribing them and he knows the danger levels, doesn’t he?” My children were prescribed Pentasa, Apriso and other ASA drugs, 6 MP, methotrexate, Flagyl and several antibiotics, along with those steroids. When none of those treatments worked, my kids got stepped up to injecting experimental and expensive biological treatments, a few of those administered by lengthy infusions in medical settings: Remicade, Humira, Stellara, and Entivio. I got pretty good at delivering shots of all kinds at home.

_{A mother's view of a hospital room}

I spent about ten years taking my kids to as many as eight medical visits a week. I spent a good deal of time with my son, now deceased, in months-long hospital stays where the poisonings were administered by drip. He always returned home even sicker, and both of us were traumatized. A couple of times, we had to flee, because we feared that any more medical "care" would kill him.

In the end, I believe, his medical "care" did kill him.

The funny thing is that I had often said, even way back when, that our best chances to live a long and healthy life come from avoiding going to doctors altogether.

If I could change one thing in my life, it would be to have listened to myself.

An Unnecessary Evil

Time passes slowly
in a hospital room,
waiting for the next dose
and wishing for the moon.

Everything is toxic!
The drips, the air, the food.
Take your care into your own hands,
and they take you for a goon.

Discharge day is a mixed blessing,
there's so much to do - no fun!
But first up on the list to do
is undoing the damage done.

_{I previously published this poem after a particularly difficult hospital say}

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_{Here's just one of the batches I dropped off at the police station}

This is my entry to @ericvancewalton's eighth installment to his Memoir Monday initiative. Every Monday Eric posts a question about our lives for us to answer, in hopes that, after a year, the participants will have produced a valuable collection of memories. This week, we were tasked with talking about something we would have done differently in our lives.

In Eric's words:

Someday all that will be left of our existence are memories of us, our deeds, and words. It's up to you to leave as rich of a heritage as possible for future generations to learn from. So, go ahead, tell your stories!

All of the photos are mine