Memoir Monday - Keep the Flame Burning

One of the greatest gifts of all was finding a soulmate to walk beside me along the road of life; a road that gets rough, and is smooth sailing at other times.

We helped each other get up many times; we had our differences, but the glue that kept us together for nearly half a century was (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ love ♥.

What have I learnt from this long fulfilling life with my soulmate?

𝘼 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙂𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙗𝙮𝙚
Advice from my Ouma (Grandma) the night of my wedding, was never to go to bed on bad terms, but rather kiss and make up before going to sleep;)
I know, it's not always possible, but I used to remember Ouma's words. Especially if I was still angry. I would not be able to sleep until I'd blurted out a very curt 'goodnight' before turning my back to my man.
That was during the early years when we were still trying to mold each other, more about that later.

𝘚𝘰, 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰...
𝘾𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚
Never, ever try to sweep unresolved issues under the carpet, they will simply build up and eventually become a big mountain that's almost impossible to overcome!

...𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦...
𝘼 𝙗𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙨
I see it happen so often with the younger generation, and I can vaguely remember the younger me being the same about trivial issues.
I'm sure you have seen or heard that something as small as an ant, multiplied by many ants, can kill a giant tree and make it come crashing down, hurting everything underneath, so...
𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘧𝘧!
Of course, one should not compromise principles you feel strongly about, but go slow, and tell your partner why you feel that way. He or she may come around and understand where you're coming from. At other times one simply has to agree to disagree!

...𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴...
𝙍𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧'𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙨
Opposites attract, right?
As the years go on and your relationship deepens, you naturally will start molding each other, not to be a mirror image of the other, but rather to smooth the rough edges that hurt or rub one up the wrong way.

𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦...
𝙂𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙚
...to explore your hobbies, sports, etc., or hang out with the girls or the guys.
Enjoy and respect each other's individuality; life would be very frustrating if you or your partner could no longer enjoy activities you, as an individual, love, merely because your partner has no inclination to be part of it.

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵...
𝙂𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙝
Encourage each other to follow that dream, it may simply be a talent your partner never had the opportunity to develop, or it could turn into a more fulfilling and likely a more lucrative career.

𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦...
𝙁𝙪𝙣
Go on spur-of-the-moment outings with friends or just the two of you.

𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩, 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘯...
𝘿𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨
Having company when going out, is fun, but make time for a date with only your soulmate. Do the things you used to do when 'courting' - or whatever they call it these days;)

𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰...
𝙇𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝
Keeping a sense of humour can often turn a tense moment into laughter.

𝙈𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙...
𝙏𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡
If you can't afford expensive holidays, pretend you're a tourist in your hometown and discover places you heard of but never visited. You could be in for a pleasant surprise, and is a great way to build lasting memories.

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I was super blessed to have the very best man in my life and the best father to our two sons.
He doted on and spoilt us.

In the end, it was just the two of us again, the 'children' had fled the nest, and our bond continued to grow stronger.

I miss him terribly, but I cherish the memories.
It was one hell of a ride at times, but so worth it!

It truly was:
"𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥, 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩, 𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘥𝘰 𝘶𝘴 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵"

I still have to respond to some of @ericvancewalton's #memoirmonday questions, but the latest one - What is your best relationship advice? particularly appealed, so I jumped right in. I hope you enjoyed my response, and I also hope to get back on track and answer some of the previous weeks' questions.

Thank you for this initiative Eric!

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^{Artwork by @artywink}